Sunday, May 27, 2007

I missed you

Hey everyone, its been a few days. Life has been fun, first, Ill go back in time a bit, The last time I wrote was on Wednesday. I don't think much happened on Thursday. That's why I didn't write. I know, I know, I broke the rules. But it is so boring to waste your life writing about how boring your life is...look, aren't you bored??

Friday was the day. My husband and I got into a huge argument about an overheard conversation. He heard me talking to a friend the night before about another friend, and instead of talking to me, he decided to hold it all inside and bottle it up. This led to him sleeping on the sofa on Thursday night. Other than just talking to me when I called he was quiet and unresponsive. He chose to talk by text message, and sometime in the conversation he said that he was thinking about leaving me. This hurt like nothing else have ever felt. I had been thinking that he hasn't been happy for awhile, and that this apparently was the final straw.

I couldn't take it. I realized at that moment that I cannot live without this man. He is the first man to show me what love is, and ultimately the first and last man I can honestly say I love you to. He is my sun, my moon, and my stars. I do everything in my life for him and my son, and I couldn't imagine my life without the two of them.

We spoke, and I told him all of this through tears and sobs. I explained the situation to him, and he explained his feelings to me. We made up as much a you can and I suppose he decided against leaving me. Good for me.

Once he got home we "made up" again, and he told me that he loved me and that he would love me forever. I understand this, and that I hurt him, but I cant just let it out of my mind that for even a split second he wanted to leave me. Like I said, I know that I hurt him, and maybe he was just trying to show me how it felt. How he felt but the fact that he could just say that to me is what hurt me the most. I love this man, and would bet my bottom dollar that he loved me the same, but that one sentence, when I asked him if he was going to leave and he replied with an "I don't know, maybe", I felt my whole world crush down around me.

I have since devoted my time to making him happy. I just want him to be happy, I always want him to smile, never frown. He is my moon, and I am his world. and I want it to stay that way forever.

Posted by ME at 12:35 PM