Friday, June 29, 2007

Spanking

After talking to my husband today I decided to post yet another one of my "wonderful" motherly advice. Oddly enough in the black community spanking is pretty much a way of life. When I tell my in-laws that I DO NOT WANT MY SON TO BE SPANKED they look at me as though I have grown an extra head. I assume that they think it is because I believe that my son will be the best acting most well behaved little in the world...this is entirely not true. I know that he is a normal person and is therefore not perfect, and I also know that he is a little boy and will therefore get into little boy problems. You see, my aversion to spanking is that I know the history of spanking.

Most people don't know the meaning of spanking, or the history of it. Spanking, or whipping, beating, or whatever you want to call it, was used by the slave masters to keep the slaves in line or whatever. Often times, after working in the field and eating fattening food and what not, the slaves were much larger than the slave masters and over seers, so in order for the slave masters to keep them in line, they treated them the same way they treated the other animals they were in charge of, by hitting them. After a while, it became commonplace to hit the slaves, and it happened without a second thought. After the children watched their parents being hit, they began to lose respect for them, and the parents could not get the children to do anything without spanking them, so that is what happened. Over time, this tradition got passed down by great grandmothers to grandmothers to mothers to daughters to granddaughters to great grand daughters, and so forth. And just like the cycle of abuse between father, mother, and child, so it is between generations. It becomes strange to any educated adult, why a parent should feel the need to hit their child.

It has also been proven in studies that children are much smarter than we believe them to be and that they can understand much more than we give them credit for, and also that spanking a child teaches them to hit. I just believe that it is mu duty and right to not have to hit my child, and I should not be judged negatively because of it.

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Posted by ME at 11:27 PM

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Meme...kinda fun

While I was randomly searching through the blogs on the mommy thingie I came across a pretty cool blog called Northwest Ladybug and I found this pretty cool post...I hope she doesn't mind me posting her blog link...if you do, leave me a comment and I'll remove it Ms. Northwest Ladybug...I promise. :)

I never even read the entire thing, I just read her description and she said it was pretty cool and I wanted to go ahead and try it. Here goes...

So you're walking along in a forest. What season is it?
It's spring. The wind it blowing lightly through the leaves, and the sun is shining, its probably a bit warmer than I would have liked, but The trees provide lots of shade so I keep walking.

After a while, you come to a wall. What kind of wall is it? (height, material, shape, etc..)
It's a large wall...It's a bout as tall as me, It's probably a brick wall or something like that, I notice that the top is smooth and that I could sit up there if I wanted.

What do you do about it?
I start to climb up the wall...Once I get there it is so cool...I can see a bunch more of the forest. I sit for a while and take a sip of my water bottle. The I lay back on the wall and watch the clouds go by for a little while.

Further in the forest, you happen upon a cup. Describe the cup.
It is a really pretty blue glass goblet style cup. There are no scratches on it, and I wonder why anyone would throw such a pretty cup out on the floor.

What do you do with it (if anything)?
I dust it off, check for any imperfections, and then I decide that I will keep it. It will be my new cup. I don't have a bag, so I have to hold my cup in one hand and my water bottle in the other.

Next you spot a knife. Describe the knife.
It's definitely a hunter's knife. I first see the dark outside of the sheath, then I realize that by pushing a button the knife comes open. The knife itself is a ceramic knife, its white, and luckily it was protected by the sheath. It's a very nice knife, and I wonder why anyone would leave it here, then I decide that the same person who left the glass must have left the knife.

What do you do with it (if anything)?
I stick it in my pocket, if the cup and the knife do in fact belong to the same person, then maybe I'll see them and I can give them back their cup and knife, the cup is starting to get heavy.

Next you come across a body of water. What type of body of water is it?
It's a little creek, not too small, about 6 inches wide and 6 inches deep. The water is flowing pretty fast, and I notice a little waterfall, its really pretty and the rocks near the waterfall are smoother than the rest.

What do you do about it?
I fill up my water bottle. This water is so clear, and so smooth that I pray that its clean. I remember reading somewhere that moving water can't grow bacteria or something and I hope that's true. The I take one of the rocks. Not one that would mess up the flowing of the waterfall, just one from the bottom. I know its wrong, but it is so pretty.

Finally, the path you seemed to have made for yourself looks like it ends at a cave. What do you think of it?
I think my path is beautiful, while I was walking small flowers sprouted up on either sides of me, and now there is a beautiful flower lined pathway coming from the middle of the forest. When I see the cave, a small butterfly flies out, I'm scared of butterflies, and the dark...

What do you do about it?
I don't do anything about it...I look inside of the cave, careful to not leave my post in the light, then I see inside that there are tons of butterflies, and it smells like mold and mildew. I decide to stay out.

The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The meaning of the questions:

The journey through the forest represents your life.

The way you feel about the season you picked represents the way you feel about life. If it's winter in your story and you love winter, you are enjoying your life.

The wall represents your problems in life. The height, material, and shape is your view of your problems' surmountability. What you do about it is how you face your problems.

The cup means your friends. What you do with it is you feel about them or how you treat them.

The knife is your view of marriage. What you do with it is how you feel about it.

The body of water is your view of sex. Was it a large ocean of opportunity? Was it a dirty puddle? Did you jump in? Did you drink it up? Did you pass it by?

The cave is your view of death. If you went in, you are not afraid of death.

My response:

Very interesting, thanks Northwest Ladybug for that interesting meme. Uhhh, lets start from the beginning. The season...I love spring, so I love my life, but thats seems pretty strange, I mean who would put themselves in a dream...a fantasy, in a forest in a season they hated...well I guess if you were miserable in your life, you would be miserable in your dreams too... Next question: The wall=my problems, I guess thats accurate. I feel like any problem in my life that i cant overtake is not worth dealing with at that point. My wall/problem in the story was easily surmountable with the handholds and the stairsteps. And once I got to the top I rested...ahhh...touche'. Next Question: The cup is my friends, very interesting, I guess that means that to me my friends are perfect, but for whatever reason, they are not wanted or that they were discarded by someone else. I guess this can be somewhat true. Next Question: The knife is my marriage...I save it in my pocket. Oddly enough my husband said that his knife had blood on it and he would leave it in the forest. I don't know what that means...not good i suppose. Next question: body of water being my views on sex. I don't get that exactly,but ok...next question: The cave and death. I have an irrational fear of butterflies and the dark...but I thought I felt ok about death...I guess not.

Well, that was fun.

Posted by ME at 8:56 AM

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Beginning my WW journey

Well, well, well...this is it. I decided today, when I got out of the shower, soggy and dripping, that I am going to lose weight by using the WW way of life. I am making it my mission. I have tried it before, but I never succeeded in it, primarily because I am lazy. You see, after about a week or so of cooking healthy and delicious meals at home I will get a craving for taco bell or bk..., or even just a craving to not cook, and I'll ask the hubby to stop off and get something deep fried, covered in cheese, or filled with fat, and sometimes even all three. I need to stop. The 2nd biggest saboteur to my weight loss pursuits is my lack of moola...Our society is set up so that healthy food costs more money. No carb bread is about $1.00 more than regular bread, organic fruits and vegetables are about double the price of their pesticide ridden counterparts...I mean think about it...Its no surprise that the richest states are also the healthiest, and the most unhealthy states also happen to be the poorest. Go to any fast food restaurant, the biggest burger may cost you about $3.00 at the most, with any chicken sandwich at about $4.00, and salads even more. well, as valid as these excuses may be, they are all still excuses, and I will not let them hold me back any longer. I have found this website, which lists all of the WW point values, and also this website, which gives great WW recipes and some of their point values. I would really like to do this, and I am going to give it my all. Wish me luck...and lots of weight loss vibes. For those of you that want to track my progress, my screen name is mysonsmommy, and I am going to begin posting on that board tomorrow...

My official begin date will be July 1, and I am starting that off with 44 daily points.

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Posted by ME at 11:01 PM

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Monday, June 25, 2007

Nurse Or Sleep...you decide!!!

Well, I think I decided toda that I'm gonna have to wean P soon. I don't want to, but hes turning into a big boy, and I noticed that as long as I nurse him, he will not sleep through the night. Lately he has been on a very strange sleep cycle. He'll go to sleep at about 10, wake up at 12, and then he'll stay up until sometime between 3 and 5, then pass out, and he's asleep all night until about 2 or 3 in the afternoon, he'll take a nap at about 6, wake up at like 7 or 8 and then we go through the whole thing all over again. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, obviously I know the mor problem lies is that long stretch of time betwen 12 and 3, but I don't know how to make him sleep. I have tried not waking up with him when he wakes up, and I became a human jungle gym. I tried putting him in his crib and letting him CIO (cry it out) but after about an hour or so my will caves and I go get him. I have tried just rtrying to nurse him back to slee and he just takes advantage of it and nurses for as long as I'll let him with no sign of sleepiness, I swear, he has nursed for 3 hours straight in the middle of the night. I am out of ideas...suggestions anyone? I'm at my wit's end, and I' seriously considering selling him on the internet. Any bidders...???

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Posted by ME at 10:58 PM

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Saturday, June 23, 2007

Children are expensive

Becoming a mother has led me to learn a lot of things I would not have known before, and had I known them, I wouldn't have known it in the same way. One of these examples are that babies are expensive... This weekend, between Friday and Saturday, the husband and I have spent too much money.

On Friday we bought:

New Stroller: 60.00
Shopping cart cover (taking it back): 15.00
A better shopping cart cover: 20.00
Diapers: 17.00
Wipes: 9.00

And on Saturday:

Pictures: 221.35

This brings our grand total to just about 370 after tax and everything else. Good thing we just got paid. Hopefully he is done for awhile.

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Posted by ME at 7:44 PM

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

My life was boring today...

Well, my life was very uneventful today, worked a bit, but for the most part I just spent time with the fam. The hubby's car is still broken, and it still sucks. I wonder if we might be able to afford a new car in a few months if we both work really hard. Just wondering how hard I would actually need to work. I can't wait till we get rich and famous. The first thing I'm doing is getting a maid, and we are getting a new and really big car. I really hope the hubby's business actually pays off one day. I don't think that he believes that I support him in it, but really I do. I mean hell, I support any venture that can make us millions. I love you baby, keep working hard, it will all pay off soon.

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Posted by ME at 12:27 AM

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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

STRANDED

Today the husband's car broke on his way home from work. His spark plug popped out while he was turning a corner. I waited for him to come home for 5 hours. When he did finally come home he told me that the hole for the spark plug had been stripped, and that it was either a $5.00 problem or a $3,000.00 problem. I hope its not the latter, we can not afford another car right now. THIS SUCKS! Wish us luck.

Posted by ME at 12:02 AM

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Sunday, June 17, 2007

To All Fathers...

First of all, I'd like to say happy father's day to all of the great fathers in this world, and even happy father's day to the bad ones also. My question however is, how do we draw the line between good and bad? Obviously, we all know that the drug dealers, the abandoners, the molesters, the abusers, and the like fall into the latter category, but is that all it takes to be bad daddy?



I was watching the view a little while ago and our favorite republican and BUSH SUPPORTER was saying that a mother who cheated on her husband was not a good mother to her children. While the thought of this sounds ridiculous, her logic behind it was genius. She said that if a woman loved her children then she would do anything for them, including making her marriage work, and that if she went through and purposely broke up her marriage because of her own selfish reasons then she was not thinking of her children, and this in turn made her a bad mother. I feel like this is true, and I have to agree with her.



My question is however, why are we as mothers held to a higher standard than the men we choose to reproduce with? If a father is cheating no one calls him a bad daddy. He is able to just blame it on his hormones, his wife, his stress levels, and whatever other sorry excuses the wind blows into his ear that day. A man is allowed to leave his family and only see them on his "appointed days", he is able to move across the country and because of a monthly check he can still claim that he is "taking care of his responsibility". The same however cannot be said for a woman, even if she does leave her children and send that same monthly check she can not just ignore and forget about her children. During my pregnancy I was repeatedly asked if I had ever been pregnant before or how many times I had given birth, and every time I look into the mirror for the rest of my life, I will see the scar that brought my son into this world. No matter what happens I will never be allowed to just walk out of my child's life and forget about him. I will be the on who has to sit up at night with a sick baby, I will have to drive him to school when he misses his school bus, I will have to make 200 cupcakes for his school bake sale, I will stand when he graduates from elementary school, high school, and even college, and I will be the one he calls when his own child is born. That is what makes a good parent, and I for one believe that fathers should be held to the same standard as a mother. They will never quite attain that level of greatness, but they damn well better try.

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Posted by ME at 11:57 PM

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Saturday, June 16, 2007

I don't know how to put it into words...

For those of you that know me, you know that I have always had a problem with men, and with flirting. I learned a long time ago that the best way for me to connect with a man was for me to use my sexuality to relate to them...for those of you that don't know...read this. Now that I am married to the best man in the world, I do know that I love him and that I would never do anything to hurt him, but I also know that I relate to men better, maybe because I automatically know that we have that common ground of "sexuality."I realized something about myself, and something about my life. Like the title says, I don't know how to put it into words...but I'll try.

Let me explain to you what happened. For the past year or so I have had a friend, we'll call him Neal. Well, I don't remember exactly where I met Neal, but it was somewhere on the Internet. We began talking, and as stated above, I only knew to flirt with him, so that's what I did. We became something like friends. I say something like friends only because I knew that our friendship was always contingent on the fact that he believed that we could actually have something. This didn't bother me because I knew that I loved my husband. You see, at this time I was carrying our son and I knew that I wanted nothing more than to be with him for the rest of my life. So, I just kept it going. I led Neal to believe that we could actually have something. I let him think that we could one day actually be something more than Internet buddies...again, only because I knew that if I did that I would still have someone to talk to during the day. There was no problem with it..It was like a cycle. I would tell Neal that maybe we'd meet tomorrow, go lie in bed next to my husband, wake up and tell Neal some other excuse as to why I couldn't meet him that day, but again promise him that we would hook up tomorrow. I understood that the proverbial "tomorrow" would never come, but Neal didn't, and because he believed that he could actually get something from me, he continued to make the effort to talk to me.

The problem came when my husband stumbled upon a chat log between Neal and myself. He saw it not as idle promises, but as actual plans for us to meet up. I will never forget the way I felt when he walked into the room and very plainly and calmly told me that when he got home the next morning, he wanted me out. My heart fell. "What happened?" "Whats going on?" "What did you see?" "GO TO THE COMPUTER, READ WHAT IS ON THE SCREEN, AND THEN GET YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT." I went over, Neal asking what happened to me, me telling him that I'm sorry, that my husband was home all night, him asking me if we could hook up tonight, me telling him that I was home with my husband all night, him telling me to sneak out, me telling him that I would think about it. From my point of view, it was nothing. I mean I had never met him, I had never planned on meeting him, I never wanted to meet him. But to my husband, it was real plans. It was infidelity in its rawest form, it was his wife, the woman that he loved and trusted making plans for a real life rendezvous with an unknown man. I hurt him. That hurt him. I love him, but unknowingly I hurt him. I promised to him that night that I would never talk to another man like that, and that I would get rid of any "friends" that I had that I talked to like that.

Immediately my yahoo buddy list went from 45 to 30 to 20 to 10 to 4. A measly 4. My husband, my mom, my Bff, and my cousin. That's it. OMG!! WTF!!! I realized then and there that I have no one. I was surrounding myself with fake friends. And now that I have none, I realize that I never had any. Does that make sense??? I just want friends.

I wake up everyday laying next to my son, I go to sleep every night laying next to my son, and it is the same everyday. I wish I had someone else to talk to. The best way for me to put it is that I feel like I am living on an island. Of course I love the fact that there is no drama or anything like that, and I love spending everyday with my son and the man of my dreams, but right now, I wish that a huge cruise ship would just come and dock in my port because I need more human interaction. I love being a stay at home mom, but basically, I am bored.

I think I hurt my Bff last night in trying to explain to her the way I feel. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry for what i said, because that was how I felt. I just needed to talk. I didn't want to compare our lives or our pain, because we both know that in terms of just plain loneliness and severity, you win, my pain is no where near equal to yours, but it is my pain, and the last thing I want or need is to feel invalidated because I'm just that much less lonely than you are. But, I am sorry for the way I said it. I love you. I know that you are only trying to help me, by trying to relate your experiences to mine, but there is no similarity involved. You were unhappy in your marriage, you wanted more experiences, you wanted to have more love from the little boy you called a husband, and when he didn't give you that you wished you had other things in your life to fill that void. I don't feel that there is a void. The husband, as you know, is a wonderful husband, father, and man in general. I am happy for him, and I would give anything to make him happy...but the thing is, I am also giving my happiness. You have what I don't. You actually have friends. Becky, Mexican with horrible accent, Englishman with wonderful accent, your monkey board people. I don't have that. I sit all day and I wait until either you wake up or James can talk, because you are all I have. This is why it bothers me so much when you fill your days with those people, or when you constantly tell me about them, I feel like every time you tell me about your happiness and your friends, and what not, you are only bringing back to mind my own loneliness. I know, or at least I hope I know, that if given the choice you would pick me. I also know that if given the chance to make your life back to what it was you would sacrifice me. It doesn't bother me. But that's how I feel right now. In order to keep my marriage happy, I got rid of everyone. And now I have no one, but I have my husband. I LOVE YOU BER...AND I AM SORRY...FORGIVE ME FOR BEING A BITCH!!!!

I guess everyone is thinking, go out and make friends. It's not hard. And to those that think that, you are right, its not hard. I am outgoing, fun, happy, and funny. I don't always know how to explain myself to other people, because I sometimes believe that my mind works different than other peoples. But all in all I am easy to get along with. So when you all ask, then why are you so lonely...I don't know what answer to give, because i ask myself that same question everyday. Why don't I have friends. I have decided that today I will search the net for friends. I will join groups, and I will talk to people. Starting next week I will go out, I will find real world friends, and no matter what I will not talk to ANY men. Please help me. If you have any hints, tell me what you think I should do. Ttyl.

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Posted by ME at 11:11 PM

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Friday, June 15, 2007

My new opportunity

Hello to my fellow bloggers and blog readers alike. Guess what happened to me today. Well, let me start from last night, I was up pretty late wondering what I could do to earn a bit of extra spending money, and PayPerPost came to mind. I had already submitted to them a while back, and they turned me down due to blog length and something about the majority of my posts being in one month, so I waited, and last night, about a month or so later I resubmitted, and guess what...I WAS ACCEPTED!!!



I woke up this morning to an email in my inbox saying that my blog had been accepted. Based on my screams you would have thought I had won the lottery. I was so excited. You see, PayPerPost is a cool new website I found where you can actually get paid to blog about the same things you would normally blog about. PayPerPost places their ads on blogs and you can write about whatever you want...and get this; You actually get paid. Like I said, I have only been accepted to PayPerPost for like one day, but already I have begun. You see, one of the 1st ones you can post on is why you love PayPerPost...that's so easy. I haven't made any money yet, but I will definitely keep you all updated. Maybe one day I'll get rich enough to where I can just have someone else post for me...You know...like a Winston or a Charles or something.

Another really cool thing is that its almost like a little community. You can even connect with bloggers that have the same thing on their mind as you...Making Money. I hope you all enjoy reading with me and helping me make money...Check it out...I promise, you won't regret it...TTYL


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Posted by ME at 9:51 PM

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Thursday, June 14, 2007

I hope he makes it

Well, I just put my baby boy down for the first time at night in his crib. I, like all moms, want him to learn independence and how to be self sufficient, and I figure the 1st step is letting him learn how to sleep by himself. I took a hint from Amber and I gave him some food, heavily laced with oatmeal, and then I nursed him, and put him to sleep. Here it is 1:52 am, and he is doing what he has never done before. He is sleeping in his crib by himself. Anyone wanna take bids on what will happen.....

A: He wakes up feeling betrayed and neglected and screams out for his mommy to come save him from the demon that is loneliness (I mean, don't we all wish we had someone to save us from our loneliness sometimes?)

B: I wake up in the middle of the night realizing that I am trying to cuddle with **gasp** my husband and remember that I miss my baby boy. I then hop up and throw on my Super Mom cape and go save my baby boy (while realizing the whole time that him sleeping with us is more for my own security and good then his).

C: Rude man downstairs comes home blaring his music and I go shoot him, the whole time whispering that I have a sleeping baby.

D: Everything goes OK. We wake up in 6-8 hours and we both realize that we did it, and that we are better for having done it.

Hmmmmm, lets see...well...I don't see C happening because...well, mommy doesn't have a gun and when I'm pissed I do a lot more that WHISPER. And at this point I also vote against D, it just seems "too much like right" as my Grandpa's friend used to say...I'd love it to happen, but with my son and his current sleeping patterns we haven't been able to make it for than more than 3 or 4 hours at a time.

Basically now my money is on either A or B. And I guess that's why he hasn't slept in there yet, because I'm scared of him actually not needing me in the middle of the night anymore. I know that there will come a time when he really grows up and I will at least be able to think back to the time that my baby boy slept with us for __ months/years. Its also scary for me to think that one day I will not be able to protect him from life. First I was pregnant, and I, along with a mixture of fat, uterus, amniotic fluid, and skin, was able to protect him from everything. I then gave birth to him, and that protection went outta the window, then I knew that if I just held him tight enough that he would be safe and sound. Now I have to face the fact that I can not protect him anymore, and its tearing me up inside. Forget about him...I HOPE I MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by ME at 11:21 PM

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

WHO?????

Laci Peterson. Natalie Holloway. Jennifer Wilbanks. Kelsey Smith. What do all of these women have in common??? They were all missing (Natalie Holloway has still not been found), and when they were missing they made headline news. The most recent of them went missing on memorial day weekend. I believe that's all I have to say, and everyone remembers the girl from Target. It is a very sad story, very upsetting to any young woman. But do you know what is more upsetting????? Having someone in your family go missing that same weekend, and you never even hear about it on the news. This is what is happening with Stepha Henry's family. You see, Stepha went missing the same weekend as Kelsey, and we all have yet to know her name or even hear about her story.

You see, the women above have one more thing in common, they are all white. They were all young, attractive white women. And Stepha is not. Stepha is a young middle class black woman. She does not fit the stereotype of women that are normally shown on the news. It is a common misconception that in the black community women don't get assaulted or taken and that kids don't get kidnapped, when in reality, the statistics are just as high, its just that they are not reported on as much.

On Monday, when googled, Stepha Henry's story only produced 3 hits, and even today, you have to spell her name perfectly, and add a few other characteristics, such as where she went missing, when she went missing and how old she was. Ridiculous huh? When on the exact same day there were 525 hits for Kelsey Smith, and a whopping 6,581 stories that focused on Paris Hilton.

Now what does this say to the black community or even to Kelsey Smith's family. Now it is understood that the media feeds into ratings, but it is truly ridiculous when we find out that a jail bound socialite is more important that women's lives.

This means that if both me and my best friend...THE BER...were to go missing at the exact same time. Statistically her case would be reported on much more than mine. She would be on every news story, and I might just be a hot topic on the view. I just say, I pray that never happens...cause I'd be screwed.

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Posted by ME at 8:21 AM

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My husband is tall, dark, and handsome

So who would've thought short, fat and bald would take my heart away

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Posted by ME at 9:41 AM

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Saturday, June 9, 2007

P...live and uncensored...




Look at how I drive my momma crazy!!!
I know just what buttons to push



Hey daddy...no, don't stop me!!




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Posted by ME at 9:40 AM

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Friday, June 8, 2007

DEAR YOU #2

Dear you...
I miss you. I haven't spoken to you in a long time, and this bothers me. I really miss you. Are you mad at me. I send out my requests and you never answer. This feeling is unnatural. I shouldn't feel like this about anyone. But I do. You see, that's the problem. I do feel this way about someone. The guy I lost my virginity to, my 1st love, my 1st real boyfriend, my husband, and honestly, that's where it should end...but now you have also been added to this group. WTH? Leave me alone. Leave my life, and my mind. Leave my heart, and leave from my desires. Just leave me alone. I say that, but i don't mean it, I delete you, but I add you. I need you, but I hate you. I feel your fingers on my body, but I want to slap your face. I feel your lips on my lips, but I want to bite you. I miss you, and I need you, but I know, I know you...I know your life, I know you. I know you would only disappoint me. I know that you would probably hurt me. I love my husband, and I'm not willing to waste what we have for you. I know that nothing you could offer me would help me or make me happy or give me what i already have................................But then.......why do I feel this way?

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Posted by ME at 9:21 AM

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Thursday, June 7, 2007

Wahm.com

Well, I am now officially a work at home mom. Its nice to be able to work at home when my son is asleep. I just wish I could do a little bit more. It feels great to know that I will be able to buy my husband a father's day present without having to spend the money that he goes to work for. really get tired of sitting at home by myself, and its nice to be able to talk to some adults during the day, and there is nothing better than getting paid for doing what you actually like to do. I love talking to people and I love being able to actually use my powers of persuasion (from years of working in retail) to make people think that they are actually making the decision.

Yay for me. Yay for babytobee. Yay for http://www.wahm.com . Yay in general.

Posted by ME at 10:35 PM

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Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Just another opinion

Well, I had to take my son to the doctor's today. I don't know what it is about going to that germ filled place that makes me want to flex my mommy muscles and bare my protector chest, but whatever it is I feel the need to fight it the entire time. Before every trip I have to restrain my urge to wrap my son in plastic saran wrap. I can only imagine the looks I would get. The anticipation actually makes me want to try it, I get goosebumps just thinking about it....Or are those hives??

Well, as every mother has to do at least once in their lives, I have to put my own worries aside for the well-being of my child. Like I said, we went in to the doctor's office today. My baby boy is 21 lbs 2 ozs and 27 inches. YAY!!! 90th percentile!

This makes me feel ecstatic beyond words. I do not know how to express how it feels to know that for the entire 18 months that my son has been alive (inside and outside) I have provided the main areas of nutrition for him. As a breastfeeding momma, I feel like I have an extra bit of pride and satisfaction because I know that without me, my son would not be where he is now.

I have nothing against formula moms, and I understand that some women just cannot breastfeed, and for those moms I truly feel for them. I would not wish that upon any woman. I do however feel like moms who will not do it for whatever personal reasons they have are selfish and uncaring. Like I said, moms who cannot breastfeed are not included in that category. Only those women who choose not to even try, because they would prefer to drink, smoke, or have freedom that breastfeeding denies you. When women put their own wants, needs, and desires ahead of those of their children I believe that that is the worst form of selfishness. If we want our children to learn sharing and compassion, and how not to be selfish, then shouldn't we as parents demonstrate those traits first with one of the most important decisions that we as mothers can make?

THINK ABOUT IT

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Posted by ME at 8:09 PM

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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

FW: My world famous honey baked ham

Today I made the BEST honey baked ham in the world. I started out using the net to find a recipe, and after searching through my cabinets for cloves, dark maple syrup, and other "REAL" mom staples, and obviously never finding them I gave up. I used pineapples, pineaple juice, brown sugar, and honey. I won't tell you the exact recipe, for two reasons: one; I didn't actually measure anything, and two; I think it would be more fun if you made your own "(insert name here)'s world famous honey baked ham."

I am now an official mommy

Posted by ME at 8:09 PM

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Monday, June 4, 2007

10 things about me

I enjoy reading other peoples blogs, and I found a post that inspired this. I thought it would be fun to tell everyone 10 things about their favorite blog host. You should do the same.


1. I am not a religious fanatic, as a matter of fact, I consider myself an atheist, but I will say bless you when someone sneezes.

2. I am probably the only black person who is fascinated with the KKK. I think it is remarkable that a hatred for certain races of people could have led to the slave trade, the trail of tears, the holocaust, the Japanese internment camps, segregation laws, coin tel pro, and now, the war on terrorism. They all have alot more in common then you think.

3. It is very hard for me to get along with women. I believe that most women that say that are just being conceited and are too busy trying to talk to guys to try to strengthen their female relationships, but in my case, its true...Ask my husband.

4. I never believed that I would get married. I thought that I would either never have children or that if I did I would be destined to a life of single-mother-ness. A husband was never included in my fantasies.

5. I don't live my life for anyone but myself. I only do what makes me happy. This may be called mean or uncaring, but I don't care if you are not happy with what I do.

6. Right now I feel like being with my son is the best thing in the world that I could be doing. This means that, despite what my parents have to say, I do not feel that college is all that important. College will be there forever, but my son will only be this age once.

7. I am absolutely terrified of being an adult. I am not ready. I wish I would have listened to the adults in my life when they said don't grow up too fast, and I want to pass on my knowledge, but i know that the young person that I talk to will treat me the same way I treated those adults. With complete disregard.

8. When I consider someone my friend, I think of them as family. If you are lucky (?) enough to be called my friend then you will see, I treat friends as family, and associates as foes.

9. I gained all of my confidence and in return my conceited attitude through faking it. I tricked myself into having self-confidence and whenever I doubt my self, I psych myself out again. This is my key to success.

10. I love very much about California, and very little about Georgia; yet I have found true happiness here and I will happily stay here for my husband, and my family. I still miss my family, and friends more and more everyday, but for some reason I will NEVER AGAIN LIVE IN CALIFORNIA.

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Posted by ME at 10:24 PM

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Sunday, June 3, 2007

I dropped my baby on his head...

Yeah, you got that right, I, the #1 mom in all the country (or so I'd like to think) dropped my precious baby on the floor. Sadly, my best friend simply replied with a "They don't call them bouncing baby boys for nothing," and then she said, "When hes older and walks with a gimp leg and says something stupid I'll just say 'I'm gonna let that go only cause your momma dropped you on your head." Yeah, I know right....MEAN, JUST PLAIN OL' MEAN. Not the kind of thing you say to a terrified momma.

Well, I'm gonna let you know how it happened...to the best of my memory... First me and my son are sitting in our most common placement. Me at the computer with him on my knee. He started reaching for a cup of ice water that was on the desk and I moved my knee so he couldn't get to it.
Obviously he didn't like it, since he has become the new ambassador for ice eating...He immediately threw a temper tantrum. Anyone who has a baby knows that this entails him throwing himself backwards.
I was holding him with my one arm (like I always do) and I guess he was overly pissed at mommy for the whole ice fiasco, and when he threw himself back it was too strong. He just fell.
The second he hit the floor I heard a huge thump and I scooped him up as fast as I could. BUt the almighty daddy heard him fall, and he immediately started yelling at me...(yeah, cause I don't already feel bad enough...and he has NEVER dropped him <--sarcasm)

I felt so bad. I was checking his eyes and making him stay awake for hours. I'm sure he got tired of it, but I felt really bad and I wanted to make sure he wasnt hurt. Well, I thought that I would let you people know whats up in my life. Maybe when I feel better I will laugh about it, but now...I am upset...GOODNIGHT...gotta go check my son's eyes again.

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Posted by ME at 10:10 PM

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Saturday, June 2, 2007

Dear you (#1)

I got this idea from the BER, she does it on her crazy-peoples board, and I thought it was a pretty good idea. So here goes...

Dear You,
I love you. When we started talking I did not truly know how to show you, and I know now that some of my methods are still pretty crude. I just wish that sometimes life was easier, that sometimes it was more cut and dry, more black and white. Either I love you or I don't, either you make me happy or you don't. Luckily, the majority of the time it is not the latter. Ou make me happier than I ever was before you, and I can't imagine life after you. I try not to talk to you when you mak me mad or hurt my feelings, but my heart aches with desire and I get to the point that just need to see your face, that I just need to see your smile, Once I look at you, my heart tells my mind to put my pride aside. I smile as I imagine you smile, you smile as you imagine me smile. You tell me you love me, and I tell you I love you too. I just hope that nothing else ever stands in our way. I hope that these past 3 years aren't all we had, and that for the next 30, 60, 90 I can always have you beside me. To look at me and tell me you love me, and can say....

***I love you too***
ME

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Posted by ME at 11:39 PM

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Friday, June 1, 2007

enteligents...

Well, other than getting bitten or stung by something that my husband and his family insists is a mosquito, but I'm sure it wasn't, today was pretty uneventful. I have been trying to get a work at home job so that I can bring in some extra money for my family to help us in our home buying exploits and whatever else we want. Tonight I did the orientation class and took the test, both of which I passed luckily...and hopefully I will be able to start sometime next week.

I am so happy, all except for the same problem that always plagues me when something good happens to me. I want to be happy about it, but I know that the people around me aren't doing the same things I am, so either I feel that they cannot be happy for me because they do not understand what this means to me, or that they won't be happy for me because they have not experienced the same luck as I have and are still struggling. This same thing happened in high school, and to this day it is one of the reasons why I feel that I didn't do as well as I could have.

Many other "smart" students experience the same things. They try to dumb themselves down a little bit so that they can fit in better with the masses. They may purposely get a lower grade then what they could, so that the other students aren't mad at them for throwing off the curve. Or instead of being happy and proud of their accomplishments, they will fold up that 'A+ test' and hide it in their backpack. It has been called uncool to be smart, instead of believing that it is cool to be smart, it is cool to sit in the back of the class, it is cool to spend all of your time checking on clothes and boys/girls, and it is cool to skip school. When did this become the case. When did it become no longer a privilege to go to school, when did school become less important than the hottest new video game? When did it become more important to spend your money on drugs and alcohol after class then it was to spend your money on books?

I, like most people can't answer that question, but I hope it changes before my son goes to school. Even if it does not, I will tell my son to embrace what intelligence he does have. As a matter of fact, I now call all people with above average IQ's. Let the stupid ones be the only ones who are called names. Lets embrace the words geek, nerd and poindexter. Lets make them positive. Stop dumbing yourselves down...be as smart as you want to. From the mind of a gifted being.

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Posted by ME at 11:38 PM

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