Monday, December 17, 2007
Love me or Hate me...My Updates!!!
Well, well, well...Do you know how hard it is to start back writing an account of your life when you have missed over a month already. This is not the first time I have sat down in front of my comp with the intentions of writing it all out and bringing you into my life, but this may be the time that it actually happens. I should be cleaning. We will have guests this weekend, and the house is a mess, but sadly, thats when I do my best writing. My son is behind me playing with his toys so that should give me maybe 10 minutes. lol, its a damn shame.So...Where do I start? I've already filled you in on my anniversary so I'll try my best to remember chronologically what has happened since then. Thanksgiving was nice. Uneventful. My son started trying to stumble around and walk. That was exciting, you wouldn't imagine the looks you get when you tell people that your son is 1 and still not walking, so sadly his father and I were trying to push him to walk. Well, as you can imagine, aside from a little stumbling and "creative falling" he didn't start that day.
We went to the baby shower of my husband's cousin and his wife, and it was nice. It was at his wife (Ashlei)'s parents' house, and OMG, it was beautiful. Definitely close to the dreams James and I have for ourselves. She was even a pretty pregnant woman. However for some reason, I think that carrying boys makes black woman half of what they usually are. It darkens their skin, spreads their noses, thickens and darkens their necks...it definitely goes away after the baby, but until then, it makes you happy to know that you aren't trying to pull a man...lol. Anyway, back to the baby shower. It was very nice, and as usual, the men were banished to another room where James, his cousins Chris and Vernoris, and my baby were hanging out. James had to keep walking around with P all day cause he wouldn't have it any other way. And guess what happened...he still wouldn't let go and walk by himself. lol. We went home that night, and while I was in the bathroom, P comes walkin in...no holding anything, no support, just walking in. I smiled and called James, and P got spooked and fell, but on November 24th, my baby took his first true steps...and he's been walking since then. I got a video for my mom, which you all know will be put on here in a few days, once I figure out how to get it done. lol
I regained confidence in men and my husband's cousins for the first time in my life. He and his girlfriend went through the same thing me and james went through here, and they came out of it. She called me crying and I didn't know how to console her other than telling her to hold on to her man. I told her that it happened to us also, and what I did to help us through it. Apparently whatever she said or did worked, and I wish them many more years of happiness.
My ber is going through something I guess. This may be the longest part, because I want to write this without offending anyone, so I may use some extra words as padding when necessary. Now let me start off by saying that I do not in any way dislike, discriminate against or otherwise "hate on" homosexuals at all. And I am of the mindset that homosexuality is ingrained. I believe that its something that you are born as, and not something that you become. I also believe that in today's society it is much cooler for women to be gay then it is for men to be gay, and that female homosexuality has become a trend that even truly straight women dabble in sometimes, and that it is fine to do that, but its even more of a reason why we are not/should not be categorized by our sexuality. Because, for example, I am merely Me...I have been with women, and I love the form and shape of a woman, but I am married to and truly in love with my husband, a man. And I do not consider myself to be bisexual, because on any day, I would take a man over a woman. And I believe that to a true bisexual it would be more like a decision between someone 5'8 or 5'9...they would need to know the person, male/female, wouldn't matter. Now you have been all up in my business for long enough, back to the Ber. So, after an entire life of straight-ness, with no attractions to women or anything, she decided that she is a lesbian. And not just any lesbian, but the butch, short hair, dominant, sex-crazed, completely opposite of her old self, lesbian. And I know that sometimes some women can change at times in their lives, and be truly happy, but I feel something in my soul that just doesn't feel right. But anyway. In the past year, I have seen Ber put her children behind her happiness. And I as a woman, mother, and someone's child, feel like that is never ok. She loves her children, I would never say that she didn't, but just that she has been making some very self-serving decisions. As I type, she is now ( I believe) still in Washington with her "chick", a married woman who is also selfishly thinking of only herself. Her happiness, her needs, and never what Amber needs, she gave her a vacation, which she wanted, but in that vacation forced her to leave her children at home with a man whom Ber herself believed would hurt her child, to the extent of getting a restraining order against him less than a year ago, just so she could have 2 weeks with her in her hometown in the home that she and her husband share. The original plan was to go for 6 months, and I begged Ber not to go. I told her that she'd be missing so much of her children's life, for some woman. I mean, I could never see myself leaving my child to go spend time with a married man, no matter what the situation was. But she is an adult, and while the rest of us were allowed to make stupid decisions in our youth, she decided to get married, and have children, and now she wants to regain that, there is nothing I can say or do to her to sway her. I love her, but for this portion of her life, I will have to love her from afar.
I found out that a friend of mine had a baby. Congrats to him and his "girlfriend." Baby Tirianna is a lucky and beautiful baby girl.
I also found out that My girl Tyra is having an itty-bitty. No word yet on what the baby is, but I wish her the best of luck. Enjoy it grl...
I have once again been told that I have lost a friend...I am so tired of begging for friends. I live a lonely life, and I assume I will have to remain this way until the day I die. It's hard for me to trust people, but once they get that trust even once, I will trust them forever, so I try really hard to hold on to friends...But I need to stop. Doing that drains me so much more than it will even help me.
Labels: Ber, confessions, Family, friends, Husband, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 9:15 AM
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Monday, October 8, 2007
I think I'm gonna fall...
What should someone do when the find that they no longer feel the want or the need to talk to the people in their lives that they once considered good friends? When I get lonely it is when I feel the need to be near the friends that I ONCE considered near and dear. The problem comes when, at the times when I am feeling that I need to be close to these people, I realize just how much these people really care about me...and coincidentally, I realize that I don't need them in my life after all. For some reason it seems as though I am always getting rid of people in my life for one reason or another. It truly sucks to never be able to have that one person that you can call anytime just because. Me and my brother got into a huge argument and I basically wrote him out of my life, all things considered, I no longer have a brother/cousin named Deandre. In my mind you do not threaten me, my husband, or my son, and still get to maintain the luxury of being able to call yourself related to me. My cousin monique told me that I should bury the hatchet, that he has started playing football agian, and that if he gets rich and famous wouldn't I want a piece of it....I thought about it, and I decided that no, I don't want anything. I hope, and wish, and pray that if his dream is to go to the NFL that it comes true for him. I think of him as I would a stranger, I wish no ill will on him, but, if he were to die tomorrow, I would not cry. I stopped talking to my best cousin because of her alliance to him, it was not on purpose or anything, I just got tired f calling and hearing the "Deandre and me" stories. It is mighty hard to not care about someone you hear about constantly.
Then Ber starts going through her whole divorce. When a good friend gets divorced, it doesnt only affect them, during the whole melee, you basically feel like you are getting a divorce also. You get the calls at random hours when shit starts sinking in, you cry with them (maybe they don't hear you, but you cry) and for them, you get angry, but it sucks, cause while the recent divorcee can call the ex and cuss them out, you just have to be a good friend, not do anything that may cause conflict, especially if it includes posting things on their myspace pages. their life changes as does the life you once knew...Calls early in the morning, knowing one's schedule like it was your own, Seeing it all change and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Your life changes just as much, as does your friendship. There is no denying it, friendships change and evolve, as does everything else, and like everything else, if you cant hang, or you dont like the way something is changing, you, and your friendship will be left behind. So you try your best to evlove, even when things are happening that you don't quite agree with, you try so hard to maintain that same relationship, but you can't, because that friendship is gone, and in its place is a new one. Still is the friendship between mothers, that will never change, but in addition it has become a friendship between a married woman and a single woman, a lesbian and a wife, someone who constantly doubts herself and a woman who is so sure of what shes doing it is scary at times. These are the times when the true question of who your friend is comes out in the open. You try so hard to maintain that childish bond, but it is so hard, achingly hard at times, and yet, still so easy at others. How does one hold on to a friend or a friendship that is changing so much at a time that she needs nothing more than just a little stability?
In the past 6 months I have gone through more crap, than I had in the entire year preceeding it. First and second, the things with Amber and Deandre. After that, many starts and stops on my own journey through depression, reconnecting, losing, and reconnecting again with a very old friend, The almost real threat of a death followed very closely by a real death of the only real man I ever knew, an unwanted pregnancy, losing that unwanted pregnancy and then HAVING to go through the worst procedure and one I would only subject my worst enemies to, and wanting to die so many times in those months, and then wanting to live just as hard. All I want is for the world to stop spinning, just for one minute, let me get my feet planted firmly on the ground before it starts back up, I don't think they ever were to begin with.
Labels: Ber, confessions
Posted by ME at 8:47 AM
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Ber did this corny thing....
And I figured I would check me and Husband's also.... here goes
Libra + TaurusAir + Earth = DustLibra is ruled by Venus, and so is Taurus. Because of this there’s an immediate attraction between you. Your air element relates to your brains and your terrific communication skills, and all this appeals to the earthy and security-conscious Taurus. In return, Taurus can ground you and calm some of your mental scatter.You’ll both enjoy having a busy social life, but there are limits for Taurus, who loves the domestic side of life. You need the social circle, but it could get a little exhausting for Taurus, who needs a quieter sort of environment, at least from time to time.Luckily, you also like a bit of mental calm, and hooking up with Taurus will probably help you balance your bouts of partying and high living. You’ll be happy to finally settle into a more balanced routine. If you can be sensitive to Taurus’s needs, and support them, the relationship will be a great one — an excellent mix of social and domestic satisfaction. This will be a partnership in which you’ll both nurture each other. You’re service oriented, and can help Taurus move towards their work and life goals. Occasionally Taureans lose the ability to feel inspired about what they’re doing, where they’re going — you’ll be good at giving them the gentle push they need. This ability to rejuvenate Taurus can cost you in terms of your own physical wellbeing, though, so keep an eye on yourself.Also, you and Taurus may sometimes find your agendas out of sync and needing adjustment. In extreme cases, your love of the social life could mean you’re not ready to settle down when Taurus is. Allowances will need to be made on both sides. If you end up surrendering to Taurus’s needs out of a sense of obligation, your wellbeing and mental peace will suffer. Taureans born between 11 May and 21 May are far too grounded for your liking and could be a challenge for you. It will be hard work to get them up and out of their own fixed way of seeing and doing things. So based on that, We are good for eachother because we can have great communication and compatibility. He makes me want to settle down and I make him want to succeed. We can nurture eachother but his practicality along with his stubbornness can make me go insane.................SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT!!!
Libra + TaurusAir + Earth = DustLibra is ruled by Venus, and so is Taurus. Because of this there’s an immediate attraction between you. Your air element relates to your brains and your terrific communication skills, and all this appeals to the earthy and security-conscious Taurus. In return, Taurus can ground you and calm some of your mental scatter.You’ll both enjoy having a busy social life, but there are limits for Taurus, who loves the domestic side of life. You need the social circle, but it could get a little exhausting for Taurus, who needs a quieter sort of environment, at least from time to time.Luckily, you also like a bit of mental calm, and hooking up with Taurus will probably help you balance your bouts of partying and high living. You’ll be happy to finally settle into a more balanced routine. If you can be sensitive to Taurus’s needs, and support them, the relationship will be a great one — an excellent mix of social and domestic satisfaction. This will be a partnership in which you’ll both nurture each other. You’re service oriented, and can help Taurus move towards their work and life goals. Occasionally Taureans lose the ability to feel inspired about what they’re doing, where they’re going — you’ll be good at giving them the gentle push they need. This ability to rejuvenate Taurus can cost you in terms of your own physical wellbeing, though, so keep an eye on yourself.Also, you and Taurus may sometimes find your agendas out of sync and needing adjustment. In extreme cases, your love of the social life could mean you’re not ready to settle down when Taurus is. Allowances will need to be made on both sides. If you end up surrendering to Taurus’s needs out of a sense of obligation, your wellbeing and mental peace will suffer. Taureans born between 11 May and 21 May are far too grounded for your liking and could be a challenge for you. It will be hard work to get them up and out of their own fixed way of seeing and doing things.
Labels: Ber, confessions
Posted by ME at 4:58 PM
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Thursday, September 6, 2007
hmmmmm
Ber is on a date...I wish she was home so I could talk to her. I'm scared and nervous about Saturday. I hope she has fun with Meagan...That chick better be worth it.
Labels: Ber
Posted by ME at 8:45 PM
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Saturday, June 2, 2007
Dear you (#1)
I got this idea from the BER, she does it on her crazy-peoples board, and I thought it was a pretty good idea. So here goes...
Dear You,
I love you. When we started talking I did not truly know how to show you, and I know now that some of my methods are still pretty crude. I just wish that sometimes life was easier, that sometimes it was more cut and dry, more black and white. Either I love you or I don't, either you make me happy or you don't. Luckily, the majority of the time it is not the latter. Ou make me happier than I ever was before you, and I can't imagine life after you. I try not to talk to you when you mak me mad or hurt my feelings, but my heart aches with desire and I get to the point that just need to see your face, that I just need to see your smile, Once I look at you, my heart tells my mind to put my pride aside. I smile as I imagine you smile, you smile as you imagine me smile. You tell me you love me, and I tell you I love you too. I just hope that nothing else ever stands in our way. I hope that these past 3 years aren't all we had, and that for the next 30, 60, 90 I can always have you beside me. To look at me and tell me you love me, and can say....
***I love you too***
ME
Posted by ME at 11:39 PM
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Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Amixedupandjumbledbitofemotions
wow,Idon'tknowhowtofeelrightnnow,mybestfriendjusttoldmeahugebitofinformation.IhavewrittenaboutthisBeckybefore,butIneverfeltasthreatenedasIdonow.IloveherlikeIhaveneverlovedanyoneelse.Likeshewasmysister.ThisBeckychickcameinandifeltabitthreatened,butnotenoughtoreallygetworried,shealwaystoldmethatBeckywasjustannoyingandthatwhenevershewantedtohangupBeckyneverdid.ShealwaysmadeitseemlikeBeckywasholdingherhostage,likeshewasrobbingbanks,andtakingheralongfortheride.NowIamfindingoutthatnotonlywassheahostaealongfortheride,shewouldgetinthecarwillingly,buckletheseatbelt,andreadthemap.
AlotofyoumaywonderwhatthehellIamtalkingabout,buttoanyonewhohastoaskthatquestion,thispostisnotforyou,onlyforthosewhoknowwhatitmeans...me,her...andperhapstheother.Ihaveletoutmyemotionsforheralittlebitbefore.Ithinksheisabeautifulwoman,shehasawonderfulheart,andabeautifulsoul.Ithinksheistrulybeautifulinsideandout.Asamatteroffact,Ihaveoftenfoundmyselfthinkingaboutherlateatnight.Ioncepostedthatshewassooooonotmytype,anditreallybotheredher,thethingisthatitwasnttrue.Sheisntmytype,Ididntlieaboutthat,butthatdoesntmeanthatiwouldntlovetolienexttoher,whenshewasgoingthrougheverythingwithherassofahusband,iwantedtobethertoholdher.IhadtolistentoherconstantlytalkaboutotherwomenandIhadtojustholdmytongue.Itjustseemedthatonebyonethesewomenalwaysjustfizzledoutofherlife,andlo,Iwastheoneconstantthatremained.IloveherandIwanttobethereforherwhennooneelsewill.ButhowdoIswallowmyjealousfeelingstowardherandthisotherwoman,whenIdon'tevenknowexactlywhatitisthatIamfeeling?
IguessIshouldjustbehappywithoutfriendlyfriendship,andgetovermyowninsecurities.IshouldbehappythatwheneverBeckyfizzlesoutofherlife,whichsheisboundto,thatIwillstillbethere.Iguessmytruefeelingscomefromknowingthatsheliedtomeforsolong,thatshetoldmethathisgirlwassounimportanttoherthatIreallyhadnothingtoworryabout,yetandstill,theyplannedtolivetogether,theyplannedtotalktogetherallnight,andnow,theyplantosleeptogether.Iamsoconfused,andhurt,andbetrayed,andupset,andetc...thatIjustdon'tknowwhattodoaboutit...
Labels: Ber, confessions
Posted by ME at 8:11 PM
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Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Family and Friendship...I guess I have to choose one
Well, today was my husband's 22nd birthday, and it was rather uneventful. We spent the day on the phone until his phone died...and then he came home and we got into a small "disagreement" about who would change the baby. I lost...and then i made him take the baby so I could get a quick nap. I fell asleep and apparently so did the boy, and when we woke up it was time to go out for dinner. We went to this great all you can eat place where they have my 2 favorites, crab legs, and sushi. Sadly, today they only had the crab legs, and everyone seemed to be all over them. One the third batch I finally got some, and I must say, they were good. Then we got home, watched TV (cause I am so freakin sick of watching him play that damn game), nooked, and now, I am trying to write in the blog with the boy screaming... and he is...yep...you guessed it, hes playing that damn game. Well, one good thing about not having Internet or cable for the past few days is that we were able to really reconnect while actually having to sit next to each other, instead of being across the room trying to talk between words typed or levels won. I also beat the need for speed game...with his help of course.
On another note, I have been feeling super neglected. My bff has found herself a new bff. I know that sounds super high school, but its how I feel. When you already have issues with feeling needed and someone is truly your only friend, when they are taken away it is really hard to just go on with life. The time we talk has gotten less and less to the point where I had to get used to just not talking to her for a day or so. I think that I have gotten so comfortable with it now, and filled my life with other things to keep myself from getting that empty feeling, that when she does call me, I just don't really have the time for her, this has led to a bunch of "I'll call you backs" and anyone who knows me knows that I have a horrible memory. This has made her mad at me, and it has made me bitter that she is mad at me, so its not getting any better. Now while I do understand that this other woman needs her at this time in he life, we'll call her Becky. So Becky really needs her support right now because surprisingly they are going through the same things at about the same time. I know that when I was going through a lot of things my bff was there for me, and that just talking to her made me feel better, and for that reason I would feel selfish in asking her to stop talking to Becky when she is providing the same service to her. In another sense though, I just feel like I can't compare to Becky. They have a lot to talk about. She is the center of Becky's world, and I am just a bystander. They are even planning on moving in together. Already Becky has given her more gifts in their short amount of time talking, then I have in our entire friendship (technically, I think more than 6 years on and off). I just wonder should I just step down, step out of the picture and let him have each other. I feel like a jealous girlfriend always asking what they talked about and wanting to snub her when she evens mentions Becky's name. I know that the friendship that I can offer can not compare to the friendship that Becky can. The thing is...I would...I would step down and bow out gracefully, but I just cant. I love my bff, and I need her in my life. Rejuvenating our friendship after so long was like a cool glass of water on a hot summers day. I needed her at that time, and she stepped in, and my life hasn't been the same since. I know that this whole post may sound a little lezzyish, but hey, what can I say. One night we talked about how best friends can sometimes incur fantasies of long living relationships with the same sex. It may sound strange, but I could see that in my BFF. I am not attracted to her in the sense that she is soooooooo not my type, but I feel so comfortable with her that I could actually see something there. It would never happen though, for more than one reason, One, is stated above, and two, I wouldn't want to mess up what we have/had. So, back to my original idea...do you think I should just step down, step out and let them be happy? Should I just continue to be the by standing best friend, and just be there for her when she needs me, even though she can't always be there for me when I need her (because of her obligations to Becky? Or should I obey my selfish motives, and reclaim her all to myself? I just don't know what to do. I want my best friend back.
Perhaps I'll just pull a Bush, I'll strike when this Becky least expects it, maybe when shes in the loo or whatever, and come in and take my Bff back. This will however begin a long standing war with a more than worthy opponent and I am afraid I will end up like the Iraqis, Throwing rocks and stones, blowing myself up in doorways and buildings to show that I mean business. Becky will run into my town, burn my AMO (Bff initials) flag, and pull down my BFF statue in the middle of my city. This will inevitably cause the prices of oil to rise, and everyone will hate me even more than they did in the beginning. Well, maybe she wont know what she is fighting for...yeah right, one can only hope. Well, the boy has started crying, and my bed is calling...I'll ttyl. goodnight.
Labels: Ber, confessions, Family
Posted by ME at 6:59 PM
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Thursday, May 10, 2007
I think I have termites.......
Recently I read a book called Don't make a black woman take off her earrings, by Tyler Perry. In it he speaks about people and their relationships with you. He says that people will come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. It is up to you to determine which ones they are. he uses the metaphor of a tree (you are the trunk, and everyone is around you...I will paraphrase as best as I can without using the book:
He says that some people are like the leaves...You know they are there...
And you know that they will give you what you need (shade) when you
need it most...but in the end you will realize that they are only in your
life to take from you. And that as soon as it gets a little cold or rough they
are outta there.
And then there are the people that are like the branches. They are a little
bit more constant than the leaves...You can even put a little bit of trust
and responsibility in them. The thing with branches is that they give you
a false sense of security. They let you confide in them, trust them, lean
on them...but one day, when you least expect it, without any warning...
They break, leaving you vulnerable and incomplete.
Next you have your roots...Your roots are strong, they build the tree up,
they never take any nutrients from the tree, but put everything they have
into helping the tree grow taller and stronger. A tree can not live without
its roots, and a roots are unimportant without the tree. The roots don't
have to be seen...but everyone knows they are there...This is the person
who is thee for your no matter what. A best friend, a spouse, a parent...
Anyone who fills that description.
The biggest question I had to ask myself was what people in my life were my leaves, my branches, and my roots... We all have them...and we all can fill all of those descriptions in someone else's life. Its only human, to be flawed...and to have flawed people in our lives. the key to living this life is to know when you are someone elses leaves, branches, or trunk. Today was a hot day...so this is a blog to make me think...and you also...Thanks...
TTYL
Labels: Ber, confessions
Posted by ME at 10:18 PM
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Friday, February 9, 2007
FRIENDS!!!
You know, life is crazy...If someone had told me that at the age of 21 I'd be a married mother, I would have called them a liar. I love my husband and my son, but I sometimes wish I could be a single 21 year old. I wish I could go out on the weekends and hang out with all the girls and the guys I used to hang out with. Now many of those guys and girls don't even talk to me. They wont return my phone calls and it seems like a horrible life to live. To go from being a very popular girl, from having a bunch of friends, being the girl that all the guys wanted to hang out with and the girls all wanted to be like, to the exact opposite with just one + sign. It seems horrible, but the thing is, it isnt. I love my life now. I wouldnt give up my son and husband for all of the friends in the world. I am truly in love. The one sad thing in this whole thing though is how you learn who your true friends are. In high school I thought that LA FAMILIA was it....I thought that nothing could ever break us up. We all decided that we would be best friends forever, that we would get married together, we would all be bridesmaids for eachother and that we would all have kids together and that we would all live happily ever after. The thing is that that never happened. I moved away, to another city, state...started my life, completed my education, and moved on with my life. When I called back home i would talk to the other members of "the family" and noticed that they were still doing the same thing as before. They were still smoking weed, still drinking, hanging out at the same parks, going to the same malls, working at the same places that we worked at in high school. I knew that i was better than that, I knew that I was destined for more. I fell in love with my husband...and decided that
I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. Once I realized that I noticed that some of the girls that said that they would be there for the rest of our lives...just weren't. Once I had my son, I lost the rest...
Now I can truly say that I have one best friend, one true friend. One person I knew I could call at any time. One person that I knew would be there for me forever. She stuck by me through my whole pregnancy, talking and laughing with me about anything and everything under the sun. This someone knows who she is, She knows that I would do
anything for her in the world and that if she ever needed anything, all the has to do is call me. I love her and I thank her. When I needed a friend she was there, when I needed a shoulder, she was there and I can't wait to grow old with her, to be best friends forever. Like I said before, It is during times of difference, when you stray from the "norm" that you learn who your true friends. I think that had I not done what I did, I would never have learned what kind of friends i have in my life, and for that I am thankful...So if there is one thing that I could thank
my husband and my son for its for opening my eyes......and to the woman that I now call my friend, I'd like to thank her for being there when I did finally open them. I love you...ALL!!!
You know, life is crazy...If someone had told me that at the age of 21 I'd be a married mother, I would have called them a liar. I love my husband and my son, but I sometimes wish I could be a single 21 year old. I wish I could go out on the weekends and hang out with all the girls and the guys I used to hang out with. Now many of those guys and girls don't even talk to me. They wont return my phone calls and it seems like a horrible life to live. To go from being a very popular girl, from having a bunch of friends, being the girl that all the guys wanted to hang out with and the girls all wanted to be like, to the exact opposite with just one + sign. It seems horrible, but the thing is, it isnt. I love my life now. I wouldnt give up my son and husband for all of the friends in the world. I am truly in love. The one sad thing in this whole thing though is how you learn who your true friends are. In high school I thought that LA FAMILIA was it....I thought that nothing could ever break us up. We all decided that we would be best friends forever, that we would get married together, we would all be bridesmaids for eachother and that we would all have kids together and that we would all live happily ever after. The thing is that that never happened. I moved away, to another city, state...started my life, completed my education, and moved on with my life. When I called back home i would talk to the other members of "the family" and noticed that they were still doing the same thing as before. They were still smoking weed, still drinking, hanging out at the same parks, going to the same malls, working at the same places that we worked at in high school. I knew that i was better than that, I knew that I was destined for more. I fell in love with my husband...and decided that
I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. Once I realized that I noticed that some of the girls that said that they would be there for the rest of our lives...just weren't. Once I had my son, I lost the rest...
Now I can truly say that I have one best friend, one true friend. One person I knew I could call at any time. One person that I knew would be there for me forever. She stuck by me through my whole pregnancy, talking and laughing with me about anything and everything under the sun. This someone knows who she is, She knows that I would do
anything for her in the world and that if she ever needed anything, all the has to do is call me. I love her and I thank her. When I needed a friend she was there, when I needed a shoulder, she was there and I can't wait to grow old with her, to be best friends forever. Like I said before, It is during times of difference, when you stray from the "norm" that you learn who your true friends. I think that had I not done what I did, I would never have learned what kind of friends i have in my life, and for that I am thankful...So if there is one thing that I could thank
my husband and my son for its for opening my eyes......and to the woman that I now call my friend, I'd like to thank her for being there when I did finally open them. I love you...ALL!!!
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