Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wednesday...just get me past it

Since everyone in the whole blogging world does wordles wednesdays...I figured i would be different this week (plus, I don't feel like searching through my millions of pics to find one)

So now, instead, I bring to you Weird Wednesdays...check it out, its fun and kinda cute.

1. Would you rather join the Ghostbusters to hunt ghosts or join the Sesame Street bunch? Why?
I would rather join the Sesame Street Bunch...Big ass puppets freak me out...but ghosts do it even more...Think of it as the lesser of two evils.

2. What is the most you are willing to do to get out of a police officer giving you a ticket?
Maybe flash him some cleavage, or pull a Jill taylor ala Home Improvement, and peek over the back of the seat with a short skirt...I'd get my ass chewed when I got home for flirting, but not as much as if i brought home a shiny new speeding ticket (because invariably, thats what my ticket would be for).

3. What popular movies do you find to be overrated?
I like the Harry Potter movies, but waiting outside all night is absolutely ridiculous...the movie will be playing tomorrow...Or better yet, just play hooky and go during a week day between like 10 and 2...believe me, no one is at the theatre then...Also, some movies that win awards, like American Beauty, Brokeback Mountain and the countless others that follow in those footsteps. Good movies, but don't tell me I'm gonna wanna smack my momma after I see it, cause if I don't get a momma smacking hankering...I'm gonna smak you.

4. What is in (and/or on) your bedside table?
On it are tons of dishes and chapsticks...in it, nothing, everything that was in it is now either packed in a box, or on the floor...I'm such a good housewife... :-\

5. Have you ever had or fantasized about having sex with a boss before? Have you ever acted on that fantasy?
Tee Hee Hee...no. All of my bosses have been women, older women, older women with bad breath...not sexy at all, but the loss management guy at the last job was a hottie, does he count...?

6. If you had a personal assistant, what would you have them do?
She'd (or he, I don't discriminate) would be my best friend...we would spend all day together, and i'd make them go with me to the movies. I like doing the little meaningless things in my life...Without those I'd have nothing.

7. Have you ever faked static, loss of cell phone reception or anything else on the telephone line to get out of a conversation?
Ha, I sure have...I think it is so rude to hang up on people...but not so much when my "phone does it" for me. And, if you have ever gotten tons of static from my phone and then gotten the clicky...It wasn't me, I do it to everyone but you...he he he.

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Posted by ME at 11:39 AM

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Wednesday, April 2, 2008

3

Inspired by this, I decided to go on a little weight loss journey myself. I started on Friday and weighed myself and decided right then and there that this shit would not fly. I won't tell you all my previous weight right now...Maybe another day, but I will tell you all that in the few days since I started, I have exercised, I have eaten less, and watched what I ate, and gotten someone to support me and motivate me (thanks Gary) and I lost 3 lbs....Very proud of myself...Time to pat myself on the back...

Anyone out there wanna be my other weight loss buddy??? Just lemme know!! Ok, luv ya...bye

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Posted by ME at 7:28 AM

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Life isn't always perfect...but when it is you should take those moments and put them away for the bad days. Treat your life like a dreamcatcher...keep the good, destroy the bad.

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Posted by ME at 6:05 AM

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Thursday, March 6, 2008

Back on my way

Wow...It has been over a month since I've even logged in to this darn thing. First I would like to apologize to my readers. I know my life already isn't exciting at all, but I suppose many of you would rather read this crap then nothing at all...

So, There is no way I could summarize everything that has happened to me in the past month, so I won't even try. I'll just give you all the top 3...

#1. I re-started school. Yep...my daddy's favorite failure has finally gotten tired of sitting at home doing nothing so I decided to go to Devry for a few semesters to get my GPA up so I can graduate from an actual college. Lol j/k!!! I am majoring in Technical Management with a concentration. in Criminal Justice. It sounds really important but really its not. It just means that they are gonna stuff business and technology classes down my throat and give me a few Criminal Justice classes to pique my interest.

#2. I have started using the Nuva Ring. Husband and I have been searching for a new birth control to use, no more babies for us any time soon hopefully!!!!

and #3. I went to my 1st Concert style thing since Jr. High. Husband, Husband's cousin, Husband's cousin's girlfriend (Sheniqua's boyfriend's brother's homeboy's cousin's girlfriend's baby daddy tole me......lol), and I went to the Steve Harvey show with Special guest Mo'Nique. As a big(ger) girl, I love her, I love the way she makes me smile. the way that in a world where everyone wants to be a size 0 (note: 0 is not a size) she is happy, healthy, beautiful and confident at whatever size she is and she encourages women to do the same.

Well, those are the biggest things. See, all of that in a month, My life is turning around, yes!!! Lets hope so. I will be back tomorrow....I promise....

Love, ME

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Posted by ME at 8:11 AM

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Monday, December 17, 2007

Love me or Hate me...My Updates!!!

Well, well, well...Do you know how hard it is to start back writing an account of your life when you have missed over a month already. This is not the first time I have sat down in front of my comp with the intentions of writing it all out and bringing you into my life, but this may be the time that it actually happens. I should be cleaning. We will have guests this weekend, and the house is a mess, but sadly, thats when I do my best writing. My son is behind me playing with his toys so that should give me maybe 10 minutes. lol, its a damn shame.

So...Where do I start? I've already filled you in on my anniversary so I'll try my best to remember chronologically what has happened since then. Thanksgiving was nice. Uneventful. My son started trying to stumble around and walk. That was exciting, you wouldn't imagine the looks you get when you tell people that your son is 1 and still not walking, so sadly his father and I were trying to push him to walk. Well, as you can imagine, aside from a little stumbling and "creative falling" he didn't start that day.

We went to the baby shower of my husband's cousin and his wife, and it was nice. It was at his wife (Ashlei)'s parents' house, and OMG, it was beautiful. Definitely close to the dreams James and I have for ourselves. She was even a pretty pregnant woman. However for some reason, I think that carrying boys makes black woman half of what they usually are. It darkens their skin, spreads their noses, thickens and darkens their necks...it definitely goes away after the baby, but until then, it makes you happy to know that you aren't trying to pull a man...lol. Anyway, back to the baby shower. It was very nice, and as usual, the men were banished to another room where James, his cousins Chris and Vernoris, and my baby were hanging out. James had to keep walking around with P all day cause he wouldn't have it any other way. And guess what happened...he still wouldn't let go and walk by himself. lol. We went home that night, and while I was in the bathroom, P comes walkin in...no holding anything, no support, just walking in. I smiled and called James, and P got spooked and fell, but on November 24th, my baby took his first true steps...and he's been walking since then. I got a video for my mom, which you all know will be put on here in a few days, once I figure out how to get it done. lol

I regained confidence in men and my husband's cousins for the first time in my life. He and his girlfriend went through the same thing me and james went through here, and they came out of it. She called me crying and I didn't know how to console her other than telling her to hold on to her man. I told her that it happened to us also, and what I did to help us through it. Apparently whatever she said or did worked, and I wish them many more years of happiness.

My ber is going through something I guess. This may be the longest part, because I want to write this without offending anyone, so I may use some extra words as padding when necessary. Now let me start off by saying that I do not in any way dislike, discriminate against or otherwise "hate on" homosexuals at all. And I am of the mindset that homosexuality is ingrained. I believe that its something that you are born as, and not something that you become. I also believe that in today's society it is much cooler for women to be gay then it is for men to be gay, and that female homosexuality has become a trend that even truly straight women dabble in sometimes, and that it is fine to do that, but its even more of a reason why we are not/should not be categorized by our sexuality. Because, for example, I am merely Me...I have been with women, and I love the form and shape of a woman, but I am married to and truly in love with my husband, a man. And I do not consider myself to be bisexual, because on any day, I would take a man over a woman. And I believe that to a true bisexual it would be more like a decision between someone 5'8 or 5'9...they would need to know the person, male/female, wouldn't matter. Now you have been all up in my business for long enough, back to the Ber. So, after an entire life of straight-ness, with no attractions to women or anything, she decided that she is a lesbian. And not just any lesbian, but the butch, short hair, dominant, sex-crazed, completely opposite of her old self, lesbian. And I know that sometimes some women can change at times in their lives, and be truly happy, but I feel something in my soul that just doesn't feel right. But anyway. In the past year, I have seen Ber put her children behind her happiness. And I as a woman, mother, and someone's child, feel like that is never ok. She loves her children, I would never say that she didn't, but just that she has been making some very self-serving decisions. As I type, she is now ( I believe) still in Washington with her "chick", a married woman who is also selfishly thinking of only herself. Her happiness, her needs, and never what Amber needs, she gave her a vacation, which she wanted, but in that vacation forced her to leave her children at home with a man whom Ber herself believed would hurt her child, to the extent of getting a restraining order against him less than a year ago, just so she could have 2 weeks with her in her hometown in the home that she and her husband share. The original plan was to go for 6 months, and I begged Ber not to go. I told her that she'd be missing so much of her children's life, for some woman. I mean, I could never see myself leaving my child to go spend time with a married man, no matter what the situation was. But she is an adult, and while the rest of us were allowed to make stupid decisions in our youth, she decided to get married, and have children, and now she wants to regain that, there is nothing I can say or do to her to sway her. I love her, but for this portion of her life, I will have to love her from afar.

I found out that a friend of mine had a baby. Congrats to him and his "girlfriend." Baby Tirianna is a lucky and beautiful baby girl.

I also found out that My girl Tyra is having an itty-bitty. No word yet on what the baby is, but I wish her the best of luck. Enjoy it grl...

I have once again been told that I have lost a friend...I am so tired of begging for friends. I live a lonely life, and I assume I will have to remain this way until the day I die. It's hard for me to trust people, but once they get that trust even once, I will trust them forever, so I try really hard to hold on to friends...But I need to stop. Doing that drains me so much more than it will even help me.

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Posted by ME at 9:15 AM

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Monday, October 22, 2007

Dear you #4

I miss it like it used to be. I miss being able to talk to you when ever I wanted to. Now its so much different, after one conversation this has gotten so much harder than it should be. You tell me about random emails and letters that allude to undying love and satisfying sex, and they actually hurt me in my soul. We've been friends again for awhile now, and all of a sudden these true colors are showing. It makes me wanna cry and feel like now I have to say goodbye to what we once had. But I've known all along that in time things must change, so it shouldn't be so bad. So why do I feel so sad?

How can I adjust to the way that things are going when it's killing me slowly and I just want it to be how it used to be. You cannot hide the way you feel inside, I realize your actions speak much louder than words. But then tell me why we have to live like this.

**quotes Alicia Keys-Why do I feel so sad**

If you want anymore, listen to our song...you know, the one by Beyonce.

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Posted by ME at 9:48 PM

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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Another friendship...?

Why do I adjust who I am and what I want for the needs of others? Why do I ignore my own happiness for the sake of others? Why do I put my family on the line to help people feel better of about the dissolvement of theirs?

Over the past few months I have been talking to a friend, whose marriage, unlike mine, has begun to dissolve. I felt really bad for him at first and figured that I would talk to him, after years of not talking, because at a hard time in someone's life, they always need someone to talk to. After a while I started remembering why we became such good friends back in the day. I realized that i actually liked talking to him, and my long days were no longer filled with so much loneliness because we would stay on the phone for hours. After awhile we began talking about very personal things, life, love, and happiness, and how we felt that both of our lives were lacking at least one of those. Our friendship was cemented upon that fact and the love that we had for eachother. After awhile I suppose our friendship was getting too strong. It scared me and delighted me all at the same time. While I know it was wrong of me to strike up a close friendship with a man who was not my husband, it just felt so damn good to have someone in my life that I knew loved me, WANTED to talk to me, and spend time on the phone with me, and tell me wonderful things about myself. I am also pretty sure that the support and company he gave me at the time was probably only setting to further the divide that I was finding between my husband and myself.

This friends of mine however is a very judgemental and sensitive person. and I felt myself pissing him off alot. I always seemed to be begging him to talk to me, to make me happy, and I gave up my dignity more than once in the past few months just to have someone to talk to me and make me feel like I was worth something. Last night somehow I did the same thing I always do. I made him mad and I still have no idea what the hell I did. He has refused to talk to me all day and I decided that this time would be different. I will not call him. I will not beg him back just so I can know that someone in my life actually cares how i feel. I will not call him. I will leave it up to him. If he wants me in his life then he will come back, and he will say so...

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Posted by ME at 1:07 PM

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