Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Happy Birthday

Today would be my grandpa's 72nd birthday. He has been gone a little over a month, and so far life hasnt gotten any better. People keep telling me that it will get better as time goes on, but I haven't felt it getting any better yet. Every so often I feel like its getting a little bit better because i can smile and think about something else, but whenever that happens I just start thinking how happy I am that its finally feeling better, and then I realize that its not feeling any better. Thats when my day sucks.

On the other hand, I have 2 more days till my own little boy turns 1. It kinda sucks that the two days are so close to eachother, but this means my son is a VIRGO, and my grandpa was a virgo. And if I've said it once, I've said it "a million times, " my grandpa was the greatest man I ever knew. Maybe it will rub off on my boy...


Today I spoke to my dad for a whopping 5 seconds, and he told me basically that if I dont go back to school in the next semester than he will not give me anymore money. Now, I guess I am supposed to be a grown up, and I suppose I am married and daddy shouldn't still be paying for me...but hey, its my life, and it screw you!!!!! My ideas behind that were.....YES, the way to make me go back to school is to stress me out about money......!!! WONDERFUL DAD!!! I'll go back to school when I get ready and when it feels right for me. I wish you could respect that, but if not...then...

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Posted by ME at 8:19 PM


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

One lesson...

I was talking to a friend today and he asked me a very profound question. He asked me.....

"If you could give your son one lesson to hold on to as he grew up, what would it be?"
At the time I think I said something like I would tell him not to ever downplay his own intelligence or aspirations to fit in with the crowd. Thats one thing I did, as stated here, and I still regret it to this day. But then I thought, why should I do what so many other parents do, push my own dreams and problems onto my child.

So I decided to make a list of the top 10 things (in no order) that I would like my son to grow up knowing, any lessons that I would like to teach him.

lets see how this works out...

(Obviously him knowing that i love him would be on any mother's list, so I'll leave that one out)

1. There is never any reason to hit anyone. Male, Female, it doesnt matter, fighting is what dumb people do with their hands when they can't do it with their minds or their mouths...

2. If you have to fight, dont ever hit someone smaller or weaker than you, only a PUNK starts fights he knows he can win just for the fun of it...Someone should have told Bush that before IRAQ.

3. At the end of the day, make sure you are happy with the choices that you have made. Forget what anyone else wants or expects from you. If you are not happy, then you shouldn't have done it, and since you cant turn back time...dont do it in the 1st place.

4. Do something for your community. Being a smart black man is no longer enough in our society. Make yourself valuable to the people around you...even if its just because you help little old ladies take their groceries in....

5. When someone...(anyone...male or female) says no...they mean no. Regardless of the situation, you take that 1st answer and stick to it...No one has ever gotten in trouble for a NO!!!

6. Be honest, make your word mean something. When you promise to do something, do it. Credit with a company is great, but credit with people is even better...but much harder to redeem.

7. Whatever you do, do it well. The saying isnt practice makes perfect for nothing. Whether its sports, school or anything else. Do it with everything you have every single day...I guess this one is similar to another one up there...but this one merely says: Do what you do, and do it with pride and integrity.

8. Nobody is perfect. Don't hold grudges or animosity. Sometimes you have to be the 1st one to apoligize, even when you arent always wrong.

9. Be clean. Wear your clothing right. Don't speak with a heavy accent. You never know who you will run into walking down the street and they are called 1st impressions for a reason.

10. Be a man, and when you have children, pass down any bits of wisdom you may have to them. Its your job, and if you don't do it, no one else will.

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Posted by ME at 8:27 PM


Friday, August 10, 2007

Good news :) ??? Or Bad news :( ??? i took a pregnancy test and it was revealed that your favorite mommy blogger is once again pregnant...I don't know how to feel...Husband and I had always stated that we would begin TRYING to have another baby after P turned 2 or after he became potty trained. I guess on the other hand we should feel blessed. There are people out there who try and try for years to get pregnant, and never succeed, and the fact that i have succeeded 2 times in 2 years to get pregnant and never trying (even after being told that i wouldn't be able to have children) is a godsend.

Well, I guess you all want to know the details of the here goes...
Date of conception: June 22, 2007
Due Date: April 13, 2007
And I consulted the Chinese Gender Calendar to find the sex, so far this Calendar has a 6/6 record, it said the sex would be: GIRL!!!

Wanna hear 3 things that I think are pretty funny??? ok cool...
1. When we were in Bluefield for the funeral we found out that my 2 other family members are both pregnant, and mommy says someone else is pregnant, these kinds of things happen in threes, she then looked at me...NOT ME I yelled...then we found out that my other cousin was pregnant...i thought i was scott free...but apparently these things happen in fours in my family.

2. Around the time I got pregnant before Husband's uncles were teasing me are, you are pregnant. This was before I was even pregnant so it was obviously nonsense...On Husband's father's b-day July 17 one of those uncles, out of the blue says...You are pregnant...Overall he seems to be a bit early...but he's 2/2.

3. Both times I found out i was pregnant they were on football days. And after finding out, Husband left me at home alone to go watch football. The 1st time it was during the superbowl, and this time it was the Atlanta Falcons 1st game of the pre season. Also, both times, the team Husband is going for loses...

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Posted by ME at 2:57 PM


Sunday, August 5, 2007

So this is why I keep him around...

You never realize just how much you love someone and how much you depend on hem until you don't have them there...I now know...I love Husband with everything that I am, I spent less than a week away from him and both me and the boy missed him like crazy...I haven't been away from him for more than a few hours since before I was preggo...and if he ever gets it into his head that he doesn't want to be daddy, hsband, confidant, best friend, etc. anymore, then I am screwed.


Posted by ME at 2:54 PM


Saturday, August 4, 2007


Today was the funeral. It was actually quite beautiful and I'm sure my grandfather would have been proud. He had a lot of people that he loved and even more that loved him. I had never been to a funeral before and I didn't realize just how much I would cry, or how much the other people around me would cry. It really was quite touching. Over this week I learned a lot about my Grandpa and who he was. I had always known that he was a proud Marine and just how much he loved his country, but I did't know just what a Jar-head my grandpa really was. They had all of his medals displayed, including his bronze star medal which was presented just to him from the President of the United States, and for which he received a parade at his homecoming from Vietnam. His sisters sang for him. My cousin presented a poem for him and we all said goodbye to him and buried him right next to his brother and his parents.

I know that my grandpa had some health problems in his final months, and that he wasnt always feeling his best. But being the proud man that he was, he never let it show. If we hadn't just known that he was feeling this way then we never would have found out. In my grandpa's final days he was able to drink all the soda and liquids he wanted, he was able to go outside and play with his big boy toys (read: lawnmowers) until the wheels really fell off of them and then he went in the house, got in the bed, and slept the most peaceful sleep ever. Now I picture him with my Grandma Barbara holding hands...TOGETHER FOREVER...give her a big kiss for me grandpa. I love you.

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Posted by ME at 9:31 AM


Friday, August 3, 2007

Family Matters

Well, well, the wake of my grandpa's passing I have seen some of my family members for what they truly are. Selfish, unloving, greedy, and just overall people that my grandpa would not have wanted to claim...

When we got to WV the 1st day, we found out that about 1/2 hour before we got there my 2 aunts left the house and WV in general. We didn't know why they left, we didn't know where they went or even if they would be coming back, and we didn't find out until much later that one of them wouldn't be returning. Why you ask...well let me tell you.

When we got to WV we noticed that all of my grandpa's important papers were gone, his wallet was gone and his money was gone. My grandpa was not known for going to the bank and could be found often with up to $2,000 in his wallet. After asking everybody she could ( except those aunts) about the money, the wallet, the credit cards, and the papers she learned that my aunt...we will call her Jackie (her real name by the way) had taken the credit cards and used them to buy a plane ticket after my grandpa's death. The day before we learned that however we found my grandfathers wallet thrown into the back of a drawer...reminiscent to what a thief would do if they found your walet out on the street, did i mention that the other aunt used to live on the street while using drugs??? Coincidence.......I think not.

While many more things were stolen from my grandpa after his death, I will decline to mention them for fear of you all judging me based on my shared DNA with said aunts. I will however mention that only 3 of his 7 children are biologically his and said aunts are not in the mix. I hope and (even though im not religious) pray that they get whats coming to them, stealing from the dead is one thing, but when stealing from the one person in your life who never left you and always supported you...I know of only one place where you belong...and real or imagined...that place is very hotttttt.

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Posted by ME at 10:40 PM


Thursday, August 2, 2007

A little bit of history

Ok, has been a while...As you all know. My Grandfather passed away on July 27th and my life hasn't been the same since. I still miss him alot...We left to West Virginia on July 31st. It really is much more beautiful than I remember it being but I guess the last time I was there was in the summer of 1994 and chidren don't quite see things the way that adults do. Riding through the mountains and the beautful ness made me realize just why my Grandfather wanted to go back there. What I didn't realize was that He just left Cali in the beginning of July, and he died at the end of it. It was like that was where he wanted to be for real. I walked into the house and I didn't recognize anything. My mom kept telling me that that was my Grandfather's house, but i didnt see any of his belongings, I didnt smell his cologne. It didnt feel like my Grandfather was in that house. I still didn't truly understand why he wanted to be there, children, no one to be there for him when he took his last breath. I didn't understand until I went into the back yard...

It turns out, that my Grandfather was born on the same land that he died on. Behind the house that he finally came to own was his childhood home, falling apart and breaking down, not even fit to be walked into. That land, that house was Grandpa's pride and joy. The story goes...

When my Great-Grandmother was alive some people (White, just an observation)
came and told her that she had to start paying double the taxes on her land that she
already was paying. She and my Great-Grandfather owned one complete mountain
that was passed down to them from their mother Sarah Charlton. Their family of
slaves was given that land when slavery ended. When the banks came down and
told my Great grandparents that they had to pay more taxes on their land they
were forced to sell it. My grandfather could remember as a child when his mom
would take him all around and tell him the story of how much land she owned...
which was now reduced to the land under a 2 bedroom shack where the whole
family lived. When my Grandpa and his younger brother grew up and made some
money they bought the first piece of land back for their mom and built her another
small house on it. Eventually they bought back every piece of land that was once
theirs and the last piece of land that they could buy was the piece right in front of
his chidhood home. The people he bought that piece of land from had built a home
on it, and instead of tearing down that house, my grandpa just decided to move
into that house. At the time of his death my Grandpa and his brother owned a full
mountain and while I'm not sure of the achorage of the rest of the land, I do know that
if you were to stand on top of the house...All the land you can see on every side of the
house belongs to my family. Cool huh???

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Posted by ME at 9:36 PM