Monday, September 22, 2008
Have you ever noticed
Have you ever noticed that when you live in a tourist city, you never do the things that are considered the main attractions for that city. For example, I grew up in San Diego, but I can count on my hands the number of times I went to the San Diego Zoo, the Wild Animal Park and Sea World. It's a shame, and now that I live in Atlanta, I have never visited any of the civil rights monuments, i have never been to the zoo, or any of the millions of museums that Atlanta is famous for. In an effort to resolve this, my husband and i decided to take our son to the Brand New Georgia Aquarium (and it didn't hurt that we got free tickets) :-)
Labels: Family, Husband, Mommy-hood, P, vacations
Posted by ME at 3:07 PM
c1mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
- I have been in love (more than once)
- I have had a man call me merely to tell me I was beautiful
- I have had the smartest man know, tell me that I am the smartest woman he knows(lies or not I still liked it)
- I've had sweet things said to me that made me blush and tingle
- I've had someone who cares hold my hand and tell me that everything is going to be ok
- I've had a child kick me from the inside
- I've been surprised with my favorite flowers, wrapped in my favorite color ribbon, just because
- I've never had my birthday or valentine's day or an anniversary forgotten or ignored
- I have been served breakfast in bed (granted it was McDonald's breakfast, but breakfast none the less
- I have been given chocolate for no apparent reason
- I have had moments of joy, so intense, I thought my heart would burst (<----stole this from someone, but it's true)
- I've been told that i was someone's world
- I've laughed until I cried and wet my pants (<----shhhhhhhhh)
- I have danced with the man I loved while everyone else watched
- I have been kissed by a stranger
- I have woken up from a dream where the one I loved left me, only to wake up and find that he's still there
- I have been told "you are not good enough" by one, and told "you are better than good enough" by another
- I've walked into a room and heard my name screamed by a bunch of people (then been tackled by said people)
- I have been kissed in my sleep froom both of the men in my life
- I have had someone watch me sleep, and upon awakening been told every thing I did in my sleep made him smile (while also describing every I did)
- I have been made love to until i cried, and then had the tears kissed from my cheeks.
- I have been told that I was special by the one I thought was special.
- I have been designated songs on the radio
- Druing the song playing on the radio, I have had the designator knock at my door only to see my reaction.
- I have had the most handsome man I know, walk up to me, smile and kiss me for no other reason than for being alive (you know I'm talking about my son right???)
Life isn't always perfect...but when it is you should take those moments and put them away for the bad days. Treat your life like a dreamcatcher...keep the good, destroy the bad.
Labels: 101 reasons why I love my husband, bored, confessions, friends, Husband, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 6:05 AM
c2mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, March 17, 2008
SAHM excitement
Ok, those of you that know me, know that I am not the one to clip coupons very much. So last weekend I sat down and decided to actually look through the newspaper and get soe coupons. I had been carrying them around and telling myself that I was gonna use em (which by the way is that same thing that happened with my coupons that I just cleaned out of the car that expired in 9/07), so finally I went to the store with the hubby on Sunday and did a bit of grocery shopping. I normally love to give the woman my kroger plus card at the end of her ringing me up so I can watch the total go back down. I know, I know, I'm a loser. So, before the kroger card it was $111.68 (OMG!!!!), I give her the card, and the total goes from that to (drumroll please) $84.56, then I give her my handfull of coupons... and the coupon goes down to (even bigger drumroll please) $55.14. HAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!! That was like 50% off my total bill.
Oh yeah, and on the way out of the store while staring at my receipt in disbelief, I noticed that they overcharged me like $6.00, and you know I went back into my store to get my $6.00 back...lol...sorry ya'll...you can take the girl outta the hood, but you can't take the hood outta the girl. :D
So really my total was $47.99 after tax on that overcharge.
From $111.86 to $47.99 with my kroger card and my coupons....I'm hooked.
Labels: Mommy-hood
Posted by ME at 10:16 AM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just realized...
that my son will have the same relationship with VHS that I had with records.
I mean, I saw them at my grandparent's house and under the cabinet at my parents house, but I thought they were frisbees or something. There were never any record players, and I truly still don't really get them.
He just brought me my prized little mermaid vhs tape, and sat o my lap, and tried to read it like a book. lol...A frisbee and a book...well, at least we are a creative family.
Labels: Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 10:10 AM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, March 14, 2008
Did ya know.....???
(things I learned this week)
- Reaching into a still hot dishwasher and even grazing your hand along the bar in the bottom can lead to a really bad burn?
- It only costs about $500.00 to do a DNA test to trace your lineage...and yet still, mor of us have that new $500.00 cell phone than info about our history?
- That you can get a free credit report from each of the credit reporting agencies just by going to http://www.annualcreditreport.com/?
- That you can dispute anything on your credit report and have it removed if you send enough letter and get on enough nerves?
- That NO-ONE at Sallie-Mae speaks understandable english?
- If you leave milk out over night and blast the heater, it is yogurt in the morning?
- That its much easier to just sit and watch Tyra than to get up and do laundry, but if you are the only one that does it you have to do it anyway?
- That if you are on a diet, eating a huge salad before the meal portion will make you actually eat less, but poop more?
- That it only takes a 1 year old 3.2 seconds to completely ruin a really cute outfit with spaghetti sauce?
- That if you buy a plane ticket in advance (after checking every single damn website out there), that you could get a roundtrip ticket from GA to CA for under $150.00?
- That thin mints cookies aren't as good as I remember them being?
- That if a 1 year old finds a life saver in your purse he will run to the nearest corner and try to eat it quickly...and you won't even notice until you hear the crunching and his breath smells like lemons?
- The movie 'I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry' is freakin hilarious...
- That when you get bored....you will write almost anything...lol.
Love you all...TTYL
Labels: bored, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 9:57 AM
c1mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
★My baby pooped on the potty for the 1st time★
And I wasn't here to see it. Grrrr. I have stayed at home for the past year and a half with my son because it was important to me to be there for all of his firsts. I didn't want to miss out on anything that was going on in my son's life. I saw his first tooth pop through, his first smile, the first time he sat up, stood up unassisted, crawled, his first steps, his first word, (his first curse word lol,)and every other first that we as mothers suck up like crack....but I missed his first poopy.
It makes me so sad. Any mom will understand why. This time of potty training is a high time for a child. It is his last step from babyhood to big-boy-hood. He walks, he talks, but you still have that one link. You still have to go to the baby section in Wal-Mart. He gts his toys, his clothes, his food from the children's/toddler's sections but he is still your baby. It's exciting that he's taking this step...but still slightly sad.
And its even worse when you miss it. I guess this is the pain of being a non-constant stay at home mom. I am out of the house for 10 hours a week now, and after all of this time I feel that I deserve it, but it breaks my heart.
While sitting in class last night my husband calls me
to ask if I'm on break yet, I wasn't but I figured it was important so I left class. He told me that my boy made a poo-poo and a pee-pee on the potty (excuse my language, I promise, I don't call it that in my daily life). I'm happy that daddy was here to be a part of it, and I would definitely rather it be with daddy than at some baby sitter's or daycare center. BUT I STILL WISH IT WAS ME!!!!
Have any of you mommies or daddies missed an important part of your children's lives? What was it? Did you feel like I do?
While the rational side of me understands that there are bigger things that a parent can miss, and that on the list of them, poop really isn't all that important (lol), it still breaks my heart. I'll be ok...I promise...TTYL
It makes me so sad. Any mom will understand why. This time of potty training is a high time for a child. It is his last step from babyhood to big-boy-hood. He walks, he talks, but you still have that one link. You still have to go to the baby section in Wal-Mart. He gts his toys, his clothes, his food from the children's/toddler's sections but he is still your baby. It's exciting that he's taking this step...but still slightly sad.
And its even worse when you miss it. I guess this is the pain of being a non-constant stay at home mom. I am out of the house for 10 hours a week now, and after all of this time I feel that I deserve it, but it breaks my heart.
While sitting in class last night my husband calls me
to ask if I'm on break yet, I wasn't but I figured it was important so I left class. He told me that my boy made a poo-poo and a pee-pee on the potty (excuse my language, I promise, I don't call it that in my daily life). I'm happy that daddy was here to be a part of it, and I would definitely rather it be with daddy than at some baby sitter's or daycare center. BUT I STILL WISH IT WAS ME!!!!
Have any of you mommies or daddies missed an important part of your children's lives? What was it? Did you feel like I do?
While the rational side of me understands that there are bigger things that a parent can miss, and that on the list of them, poop really isn't all that important (lol), it still breaks my heart. I'll be ok...I promise...TTYL
Labels: confessions, Family, Husband, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 7:56 AM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, December 17, 2007
Love me or Hate me...My Updates!!!
Well, well, well...Do you know how hard it is to start back writing an account of your life when you have missed over a month already. This is not the first time I have sat down in front of my comp with the intentions of writing it all out and bringing you into my life, but this may be the time that it actually happens. I should be cleaning. We will have guests this weekend, and the house is a mess, but sadly, thats when I do my best writing. My son is behind me playing with his toys so that should give me maybe 10 minutes. lol, its a damn shame.
So...Where do I start? I've already filled you in on my anniversary so I'll try my best to remember chronologically what has happened since then. Thanksgiving was nice. Uneventful. My son started trying to stumble around and walk. That was exciting, you wouldn't imagine the looks you get when you tell people that your son is 1 and still not walking, so sadly his father and I were trying to push him to walk. Well, as you can imagine, aside from a little stumbling and "creative falling" he didn't start that day.
We went to the baby shower of my husband's cousin and his wife, and it was nice. It was at his wife (Ashlei)'s parents' house, and OMG, it was beautiful. Definitely close to the dreams James and I have for ourselves. She was even a pretty pregnant woman. However for some reason, I think that carrying boys makes black woman half of what they usually are. It darkens their skin, spreads their noses, thickens and darkens their necks...it definitely goes away after the baby, but until then, it makes you happy to know that you aren't trying to pull a man...lol. Anyway, back to the baby shower. It was very nice, and as usual, the men were banished to another room where James, his cousins Chris and Vernoris, and my baby were hanging out. James had to keep walking around with P all day cause he wouldn't have it any other way. And guess what happened...he still wouldn't let go and walk by himself. lol. We went home that night, and while I was in the bathroom, P comes walkin in...no holding anything, no support, just walking in. I smiled and called James, and P got spooked and fell, but on November 24th, my baby took his first true steps...and he's been walking since then. I got a video for my mom, which you all know will be put on here in a few days, once I figure out how to get it done. lol
I regained confidence in men and my husband's cousins for the first time in my life. He and his girlfriend went through the same thing me and james went through here, and they came out of it. She called me crying and I didn't know how to console her other than telling her to hold on to her man. I told her that it happened to us also, and what I did to help us through it. Apparently whatever she said or did worked, and I wish them many more years of happiness.
My ber is going through something I guess. This may be the longest part, because I want to write this without offending anyone, so I may use some extra words as padding when necessary. Now let me start off by saying that I do not in any way dislike, discriminate against or otherwise "hate on" homosexuals at all. And I am of the mindset that homosexuality is ingrained. I believe that its something that you are born as, and not something that you become. I also believe that in today's society it is much cooler for women to be gay then it is for men to be gay, and that female homosexuality has become a trend that even truly straight women dabble in sometimes, and that it is fine to do that, but its even more of a reason why we are not/should not be categorized by our sexuality. Because, for example, I am merely Me...I have been with women, and I love the form and shape of a woman, but I am married to and truly in love with my husband, a man. And I do not consider myself to be bisexual, because on any day, I would take a man over a woman. And I believe that to a true bisexual it would be more like a decision between someone 5'8 or 5'9...they would need to know the person, male/female, wouldn't matter. Now you have been all up in my business for long enough, back to the Ber. So, after an entire life of straight-ness, with no attractions to women or anything, she decided that she is a lesbian. And not just any lesbian, but the butch, short hair, dominant, sex-crazed, completely opposite of her old self, lesbian. And I know that sometimes some women can change at times in their lives, and be truly happy, but I feel something in my soul that just doesn't feel right. But anyway. In the past year, I have seen Ber put her children behind her happiness. And I as a woman, mother, and someone's child, feel like that is never ok. She loves her children, I would never say that she didn't, but just that she has been making some very self-serving decisions. As I type, she is now ( I believe) still in Washington with her "chick", a married woman who is also selfishly thinking of only herself. Her happiness, her needs, and never what Amber needs, she gave her a vacation, which she wanted, but in that vacation forced her to leave her children at home with a man whom Ber herself believed would hurt her child, to the extent of getting a restraining order against him less than a year ago, just so she could have 2 weeks with her in her hometown in the home that she and her husband share. The original plan was to go for 6 months, and I begged Ber not to go. I told her that she'd be missing so much of her children's life, for some woman. I mean, I could never see myself leaving my child to go spend time with a married man, no matter what the situation was. But she is an adult, and while the rest of us were allowed to make stupid decisions in our youth, she decided to get married, and have children, and now she wants to regain that, there is nothing I can say or do to her to sway her. I love her, but for this portion of her life, I will have to love her from afar.
I found out that a friend of mine had a baby. Congrats to him and his "girlfriend." Baby Tirianna is a lucky and beautiful baby girl.
I also found out that My girl Tyra is having an itty-bitty. No word yet on what the baby is, but I wish her the best of luck. Enjoy it grl...
I have once again been told that I have lost a friend...I am so tired of begging for friends. I live a lonely life, and I assume I will have to remain this way until the day I die. It's hard for me to trust people, but once they get that trust even once, I will trust them forever, so I try really hard to hold on to friends...But I need to stop. Doing that drains me so much more than it will even help me.
Labels: Ber, confessions, Family, friends, Husband, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 9:15 AM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
cool new contest
I know you have all heard about the Dyson vacuum right??? Well, its the vacuum that never loses suction, and the little 30 dollar piece of crap I have now could never compare. To top it off, it has that guy with the sexy english accent (whats that sound...thousands of SAHM's remembering the sexy english-man??) to promote it. Well, I just found a super cool contest over at The domestic diva where you can win a PINK one...OMG, could you believe it??? Pink, you should totally enter it, Just in case.
Labels: contests, gifts, giveaways, Mommy-hood, newsworthy
Posted by ME at 7:57 PM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, October 28, 2007
A question
When you get married and start a family of your own, with whom do your responsibilities lie, your new husband/wife and children, or your parents? Check back next sunday for my very detailed answer...
Oh yeah, and I really wanna know what you think, leave your answers in the comments.
Labels: confessions, Family, Husband, Mommy-hood
Posted by ME at 8:52 PM
c3mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Dreams
As I spend every minute of my free time talking to expecting and new mothers I can't help but feel a slight bit of jealousy when these mothers, some of them as young as or even younger than me, tell me that they are in no need of information on a University because they have already graduated from college. After all, had things just went a little bit different, I would have been done by now, but instead, I decided to get into a serious relationship, put school on hold, and have my child. Decisions which I would never give up. Recently I decided that i would re-enter into school and finish getting my degree. This decision is not only for me, but for my child, and even any unborn children that we may choose to have in the future. I believe that in order to give them the best life possible I have to make myself into the woman I want to be. Before my child I wanted to be a psychologist/psychiatrist, and I believe that in order I have to fulfill my own dreams so I do not become some lowly old housewife dreaming of days gone by and trying to keep up in a college room of 20 somethings at the ripe old age of 60 (no offense to over the hill college students, its just not for me).
I also believe that if, god forbid, something happen to my husband that would put him out of work for a whie, that i as the other head of house hold needs to be able to stand up and go to work, and by getting an education at least equal to that of my husband, I am insuring that I will be able to at least keep us ina lifestyle that we have grown accustomed to. It saddens me to hear that women have no further aspirations than, "being a housewife", or that they "have no idea how much he makes or what he does with the money". I would wish no ill will on these women, but when life doesn't work out the way its suppsed to, as it often does not, what will you do? Perhaps it is my stauts as a self proclaimed "strong black woman" but i do not believe that it is anyone's job to take care of me. I want to be assured that if my husband left me tomorrow or if he died in his sleep tonight, I know where the insurance papers are, I know who to call, and that when the time is right, that i will be able to get off my ass and get a job so my son and I don't have to go beg at the Salvation Army, or live off of government checks every month. I believe that as the women that is one promise that we must make to ourselves and our children...If daddy ever wants to act stupid, mommy will be able to take care of you.
I hope I can get in school as early as possible. I want to make my dreams come true.
Labels: confessions, Family, Mommy-hood
Posted by ME at 9:09 PM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, October 19, 2007
1st haircut
Today I took my boy to get his 1st haircut. In the black community its a really big event, and it saved until after the 1st birthday. In most cultures it signifies that the chid is no longer a baby, but is growing up. I had been trying so hard to not get it done, but I figured that at almost 14 months it was about time. Here is a few pics
P and his daddy (before)
He knew what was coming (still before)
(Great) Uncle Sheldon cutting my boy's hair (during)
Momma...make him stop (almost done)
What'd you think would happen...
I'm just as flyy as I've always been (after)
So, my baby boy isnt my baby boy anymore...now hes my big boy...
Labels: Family, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 9:00 PM
c1mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Hey, hey, hey...
Well, my weekend was extremely uneventful. As you may or may not know, my son still has yet to walk...At 13 months this can be a bit embarrassing when everyone else around him is walking, but the one thing I just keep telling people is that he can walk, he just chooses not to. I get nodded heads and looks of sympathy, but I just try to laugh them off...Today it was proven to my MIL that he can in fact stand up unassisted. Even after I told her time and time again that he could do it...she still seemed so surprised that he could....i wonder what that means???
Labels: Husband, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 8:34 PM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, October 5, 2007
I want to be nominated...
I have just realized that if I were a celebrity, I would be a Z-lister. I feel like if I didn't have P no one in my life would still be here, or even care about me. Maybe its a disorder, maybe its just my conceitedness coming out, but for some strange reason, I want to be some one's entire universe. I want to be that girl from the loves stories, and the romance movies that has the man in her life that would do anything to make her happy. I want to be the woman in the dramas whose friends would absolutely die if she was gone, and I wanna be that girl in the comedies who is always the life of the party, and even though shes a little weird, and imperfect they all still love her and laugh at her jokes. I DO NOT want to be the girl in the scary movies who gets killed. Sadly, or luckily in some cases, life isn't a movie stage, and at some time we all have to understand that we are not the stars, not even of our own shows. So, should I just be OK with being the costar in my marriage, in my family, in my friendships, or should I do something about it. Make myself #1? How? My husband could care less about me on any daily basis, he would rather play that game than even have sex with me. My BFF Amber no longer needs my companionship and love. She has Maegan, and we rarely even talk anymore. And, now, the one person who actually needed me. For whatever reasons there were, Christopher needed me in his life. Now however, he has a new girlfriend. He doesn't need me in his life anymore. I am soooo sad. I will try to get over it, and deal with it the best I can. Hell, if i have to be a supporting actress...I'm gettin an Emmy for it.
Labels: confessions, Family, Husband, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 10:30 PM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
My 'do day...
Well, today I finally took the time to actually do something to my hair. It has been weeks, maybe even months since I actually "did" it, and it took me all of like an hour and a half...I didn't get to finish it because the baby woke up, but I got enough of it done. I just wasn't able to curl it, but if I wrap it tonight, I shouldn't have to put too much heat on it. I ahet putting heta on my hair...It makes it look so un healthy. One good thing about never doing my hair is that it is really healthy, and growing nicely. I would post pictures, but I can't find my digital camera. I haven't seen it since P's birthday trip, and that makes me sad. Now I don't know if I have any pictures from his birthday. WaaaahhhhhhhhH!!!!! Maybe I will set up a fake one...make him look really small, and put his blues clies ears on him...Whatever I finally decide to do, I promise i will post pics when I get them...
Labels: Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 5:58 PM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, September 30, 2007
My bad birthday update
Sooo...yesterday was my birthday and I am gonna assume you all want an update....Well, let me start at te beginning. I woke up at like 8:30 am to my husband running out of the house. Me and the baby hung out and relaxed all day. Husband called me to tell me that he had spent some ungodly amount of money on new tires. This money just also happened to include the money that was suppose to be used for my birthday. I was sad and I shed some tears and all, but over all I was ok. So then husband comes home at like 5 o'clock. We went out and got some taco bell, instead of going out to a restaurant like we had planned, and came home and just stayed at home for the rest of the night. I got a call from my dad that night and one from my mom also. Basically, my birthday sucked...I hope next year will be better. If husband wants to make this up to me he will do something wonderful for our 3 year (dating) anniversary. October 12th baby, don't forget.
Labels: Family, Holidays, Husband, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 9:48 AM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, September 24, 2007
Bad News
Wowzers, My husband just called me and told me that he was working with his uncle this Saturday so he could make some extra money for my birthday. This is very cool because now we can go out to dinner or something, but the one thing that he forgot is that this Saturday is my birthday. Yep, you got it right, my husband will be out working on my birthday. The funny part is that he actually started arguing with me when I told him that Saturday was my birthday. I guess it's ok. I'm a big girl, and I'll be able to spend the day with my best friend in the whole world anyway...My boy. It is just kinda sad, but I guess its true what they say, as you grow up, people stop caring about your birthday. I'm gonna go cry now......TTYL
Labels: Holidays, Husband, Mommy-hood
Posted by ME at 10:51 AM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I'd pay $50 to learn how to do this.
Lately I have been on some kind of a cleaning kick. I have been wanting everything to be spotless and I have even been wiping everything down with bleach. Today I tackled the one place in the house that I was really scared of even touching...I cleaned my kitchen, and in relation to that I cleaned my refrigerator. I took some before and after pics and there is a vast difference. I also learned today that I am not a real mom. Before cleaning my fridge out, I thought that we had enough stuff in there. I would open the door and look inside, take out a container, smell it, and put it back. I'll eat it later I think. Today I just threw it all away. I had already known that I was not a June Cleaver style mom, or even a woman, but damnit, I always thought that I wasn't like a crack head style mom. Today though reality smacked me in the face with a biiiiiiiiig bottle if bleach. After I cleaned my fridge it was entirely empty...I have tons of condiments including three opened bottles of the black people's staple...hot sauce, and a jar of sugar free apricot preservatives that my Step-Grandmother bought me back in 2004. But food wise....I have nothing. There is meat in my freezer, but in the fridge there are 2 eggs, and 1/2 a gallon of water. That's it. I need to take mommy classes...Anyone giving them, Count me in. But do not expect me to have it at my house...I have no hoers d' oeuvres.
BEFORE :
BEFORE :
AFTER:
Labels: confessions, Mommy-hood
Posted by ME at 10:19 PM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, September 7, 2007
Dear You,
I love you. I love you so much and I wish we could have made this entire journey together. I know it would have been hard for both of us but we could have done it. I am going to make a small promise to you if you can return the promise. I promise that when the time is right for both of us we will be back together. We will make this journey. It's not that long, we could do it. One more thing. I promise you that if you can make your little heart beat for 9 months, and grow your little body for 9 months, I will nourish you for 9 months, and I will love you forever. I don't know if its my fault why everything happened, I know that it might not be, but as your mommy I have to put a little bit of blame onto myself. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Love,
Your Future Mommy
Labels: confessions, letter, Mommy-hood
Posted by ME at 9:05 PM
c1mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
update
Well, Well, Well.....
What's new this week...
~My baby boy is 1
~ I'm not going to be having a baby
~Probably not for a long time
Let me take a second to explain...
My son turned 1 on September 1, 2007. I was happy but damn, this means my boy is really growing up, and there's no way to stop it. I love him so much its ridiculous, and for his 1st b-day I decided to engage in a long standing tradition and buy him a gold bracelet for his b-day. He's actually doing alot better with it then I thought he would, I guess thats one sign of being a big boy huh?
I found out one day last week that my baby was no longer viable. The doctor's said that it had stopped forming at about 4-6 weeks. I think I'm ok with this, but now I have to go and have a procedure to remove the fetus since my body doesnt seem to want to expel the baby on its own, I guess its kinda strange, I don't want to let go of the thought that I could be a mommy again, and my body is holding on just as tight. It hurts to know this, but i guess I will be ok. I mean everything happens for a reason right?
This whole baby thing has led me to rethink my child plans. I really want to be able to go back to school and do that whole thing, and I was trying to think about how I could do it all and be a good mommy. I think I'm gonna get some type of a long term bc. Kinda like mirena or something like that. I love my boy, but I cant put mybody through this again, especially if I am not ready.
Other than that, I suppose life is ok. I have been really sad lately, and I guess its because f this whole baby thing and the hormones going crazy because it isnt a regular pregnancy, but I hate feeling like this, they also say that after the whole procedure this feeling may just get worse. I don't know if I can handle this. Well, I guess I'm gonna go get in the bed now. I feel crappy. I'll ttyl.
Labels: Family, Grandpa, Husband, Mommy-hood, P
Posted by ME at 9:18 PM
c0mments!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
One lesson...
I was talking to a friend today and he asked me a very profound question. He asked me.....
"If you could give your son one lesson to hold on to as he grew up, what would it be?" At the time I think I said something like I would tell him not to ever downplay his own intelligence or aspirations to fit in with the crowd. Thats one thing I did, as stated here, and I still regret it to this day. But then I thought, why should I do what so many other parents do, push my own dreams and problems onto my child.
So I decided to make a list of the top 10 things (in no order) that I would like my son to grow up knowing, any lessons that I would like to teach him.
lets see how this works out...
(Obviously him knowing that i love him would be on any mother's list, so I'll leave that one out)
1. There is never any reason to hit anyone. Male, Female, it doesnt matter, fighting is what dumb people do with their hands when they can't do it with their minds or their mouths...
2. If you have to fight, dont ever hit someone smaller or weaker than you, only a PUNK starts fights he knows he can win just for the fun of it...Someone should have told Bush that before IRAQ.
3. At the end of the day, make sure you are happy with the choices that you have made. Forget what anyone else wants or expects from you. If you are not happy, then you shouldn't have done it, and since you cant turn back time...dont do it in the 1st place.
4. Do something for your community. Being a smart black man is no longer enough in our society. Make yourself valuable to the people around you...even if its just because you help little old ladies take their groceries in....
5. When someone...(anyone...male or female) says no...they mean no. Regardless of the situation, you take that 1st answer and stick to it...No one has ever gotten in trouble for a NO!!!
6. Be honest, make your word mean something. When you promise to do something, do it. Credit with a company is great, but credit with people is even better...but much harder to redeem.
7. Whatever you do, do it well. The saying isnt practice makes perfect for nothing. Whether its sports, school or anything else. Do it with everything you have every single day...I guess this one is similar to another one up there...but this one merely says: Do what you do, and do it with pride and integrity.
8. Nobody is perfect. Don't hold grudges or animosity. Sometimes you have to be the 1st one to apoligize, even when you arent always wrong.
9. Be clean. Wear your clothing right. Don't speak with a heavy accent. You never know who you will run into walking down the street and they are called 1st impressions for a reason.
10. Be a man, and when you have children, pass down any bits of wisdom you may have to them. Its your job, and if you don't do it, no one else will.
Labels: Mommy-hood, P
