Thursday, June 14, 2007

I hope he makes it

Well, I just put my baby boy down for the first time at night in his crib. I, like all moms, want him to learn independence and how to be self sufficient, and I figure the 1st step is letting him learn how to sleep by himself. I took a hint from Amber and I gave him some food, heavily laced with oatmeal, and then I nursed him, and put him to sleep. Here it is 1:52 am, and he is doing what he has never done before. He is sleeping in his crib by himself. Anyone wanna take bids on what will happen.....

A: He wakes up feeling betrayed and neglected and screams out for his mommy to come save him from the demon that is loneliness (I mean, don't we all wish we had someone to save us from our loneliness sometimes?)

B: I wake up in the middle of the night realizing that I am trying to cuddle with **gasp** my husband and remember that I miss my baby boy. I then hop up and throw on my Super Mom cape and go save my baby boy (while realizing the whole time that him sleeping with us is more for my own security and good then his).

C: Rude man downstairs comes home blaring his music and I go shoot him, the whole time whispering that I have a sleeping baby.

D: Everything goes OK. We wake up in 6-8 hours and we both realize that we did it, and that we are better for having done it.

Hmmmmm, lets see...well...I don't see C happening because...well, mommy doesn't have a gun and when I'm pissed I do a lot more that WHISPER. And at this point I also vote against D, it just seems "too much like right" as my Grandpa's friend used to say...I'd love it to happen, but with my son and his current sleeping patterns we haven't been able to make it for than more than 3 or 4 hours at a time.

Basically now my money is on either A or B. And I guess that's why he hasn't slept in there yet, because I'm scared of him actually not needing me in the middle of the night anymore. I know that there will come a time when he really grows up and I will at least be able to think back to the time that my baby boy slept with us for __ months/years. Its also scary for me to think that one day I will not be able to protect him from life. First I was pregnant, and I, along with a mixture of fat, uterus, amniotic fluid, and skin, was able to protect him from everything. I then gave birth to him, and that protection went outta the window, then I knew that if I just held him tight enough that he would be safe and sound. Now I have to face the fact that I can not protect him anymore, and its tearing me up inside. Forget about him...I HOPE I MAKE IT!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by ME at 11:21 PM