Saturday, October 27, 2007
Dreams
As I spend every minute of my free time talking to expecting and new mothers I can't help but feel a slight bit of jealousy when these mothers, some of them as young as or even younger than me, tell me that they are in no need of information on a University because they have already graduated from college. After all, had things just went a little bit different, I would have been done by now, but instead, I decided to get into a serious relationship, put school on hold, and have my child. Decisions which I would never give up. Recently I decided that i would re-enter into school and finish getting my degree. This decision is not only for me, but for my child, and even any unborn children that we may choose to have in the future. I believe that in order to give them the best life possible I have to make myself into the woman I want to be. Before my child I wanted to be a psychologist/psychiatrist, and I believe that in order I have to fulfill my own dreams so I do not become some lowly old housewife dreaming of days gone by and trying to keep up in a college room of 20 somethings at the ripe old age of 60 (no offense to over the hill college students, its just not for me).
I also believe that if, god forbid, something happen to my husband that would put him out of work for a whie, that i as the other head of house hold needs to be able to stand up and go to work, and by getting an education at least equal to that of my husband, I am insuring that I will be able to at least keep us ina lifestyle that we have grown accustomed to. It saddens me to hear that women have no further aspirations than, "being a housewife", or that they "have no idea how much he makes or what he does with the money". I would wish no ill will on these women, but when life doesn't work out the way its suppsed to, as it often does not, what will you do? Perhaps it is my stauts as a self proclaimed "strong black woman" but i do not believe that it is anyone's job to take care of me. I want to be assured that if my husband left me tomorrow or if he died in his sleep tonight, I know where the insurance papers are, I know who to call, and that when the time is right, that i will be able to get off my ass and get a job so my son and I don't have to go beg at the Salvation Army, or live off of government checks every month. I believe that as the women that is one promise that we must make to ourselves and our children...If daddy ever wants to act stupid, mommy will be able to take care of you.
I hope I can get in school as early as possible. I want to make my dreams come true.
Labels: confessions, Family, Mommy-hood
Posted by ME at 9:09 PM
c0mments!
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