Tuesday, December 18, 2007
So, this whole recent fascination with lists by the entire literate public has finally consumed ya girl...I had a friend ask me what my infatuation with Chris Brown is all about. I mean in all seriousness, he's like 10 (lol), no really, but he's younger than I am. he's not really my type, he's so pop, but still, I am so in love with him. I am taken back to my 8th grade days when I had my walls plastered with posters from Tiger Beat and Teen People, and while I search the internet for te newest picstures and facts about him I imagine myself at one of his concerts, front and center, loving it...then I look over and my teenaged daughter is there, and my boobs are down to my knees, and everyone else is at least a foor shorter than I am, and I am jerked back to reality.Well, anyway...Here is my list as to why I am in love with Chris Breezy...lol:
*He takes me back to my Michael Jackson-loving days. Granted, I was only like 10 when the whole child molestation came out, which was the beginning of Mike's decline, but I remember the Michael Jackson music videos and how you would get all happy and sit real close to the tv and try to learn the moves...but I never could cause I don't have any rhythm...lol, well, sometimes just watching Chris "dance" makes me want to put my nose to the screen all over again and study those moves real hard.
*He is so cute. Now I don't like light skinned brothas too much...(note: my man is one lightbulb away from walkin into a wall), but there is something about his youth, his complexion, his little tiny body...that makes me swoon.
*That smile. That same smile that made me melt the day I met my husband. The same smile that made me kiss him even though he annoyed the hell outta me. The same smile that I said yes to when he asked me if I still wanted to marry him. The same smile that I wake up to every day, is the smile that is present on Chris Brown's face. I love it.
*His swagger. He doesn't really try to be something he isn't. He doesn't try to be a gangsta-leanin', rap-slangin', bitch and ho-callin', cool-ass, pretty boy...He just is what he is. I mean, he will be the first to tell you, that once he got older he tried to emulate the NY boys with their swagger, but he will also let you know that he grew up in the little town of Tappahannock, VA...and take it from a girl that went to an all white school only until 6th grade, the lessons that you learn in childhood are hard as hell to shake.
*The way he treats his mom...I saw an interview with them, and while I'm all for respecting your parents to the utmost, they were so natural. They flowed like a river and fit together like a puzzle. they were more than parent and child, they were like friends, and please, don't believe I'm so disillusioned that I actually believe that they are always like that, but it was cool to see that.
Ummm, thats all I can think of for now...But isnt that enough...? Watch this video and tell me this isnt the cutest, sexiest, most tasty little boy in the whole world...As Husband's cousin says...I would teach that boy a thing or two...lol
Posted by ME at 2:19 PM
c0mments!
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It's never easy the second time around
Posted by ME at 9:00 AM
c1mments!
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Monday, December 17, 2007
Love me or Hate me...My Updates!!!
Well, well, well...Do you know how hard it is to start back writing an account of your life when you have missed over a month already. This is not the first time I have sat down in front of my comp with the intentions of writing it all out and bringing you into my life, but this may be the time that it actually happens. I should be cleaning. We will have guests this weekend, and the house is a mess, but sadly, thats when I do my best writing. My son is behind me playing with his toys so that should give me maybe 10 minutes. lol, its a damn shame.
So...Where do I start? I've already filled you in on my anniversary so I'll try my best to remember chronologically what has happened since then. Thanksgiving was nice. Uneventful. My son started trying to stumble around and walk. That was exciting, you wouldn't imagine the looks you get when you tell people that your son is 1 and still not walking, so sadly his father and I were trying to push him to walk. Well, as you can imagine, aside from a little stumbling and "creative falling" he didn't start that day.
We went to the baby shower of my husband's cousin and his wife, and it was nice. It was at his wife (Ashlei)'s parents' house, and OMG, it was beautiful. Definitely close to the dreams James and I have for ourselves. She was even a pretty pregnant woman. However for some reason, I think that carrying boys makes black woman half of what they usually are. It darkens their skin, spreads their noses, thickens and darkens their necks...it definitely goes away after the baby, but until then, it makes you happy to know that you aren't trying to pull a man...lol. Anyway, back to the baby shower. It was very nice, and as usual, the men were banished to another room where James, his cousins Chris and Vernoris, and my baby were hanging out. James had to keep walking around with P all day cause he wouldn't have it any other way. And guess what happened...he still wouldn't let go and walk by himself. lol. We went home that night, and while I was in the bathroom, P comes walkin in...no holding anything, no support, just walking in. I smiled and called James, and P got spooked and fell, but on November 24th, my baby took his first true steps...and he's been walking since then. I got a video for my mom, which you all know will be put on here in a few days, once I figure out how to get it done. lol
I regained confidence in men and my husband's cousins for the first time in my life. He and his girlfriend went through the same thing me and james went through here, and they came out of it. She called me crying and I didn't know how to console her other than telling her to hold on to her man. I told her that it happened to us also, and what I did to help us through it. Apparently whatever she said or did worked, and I wish them many more years of happiness.
My ber is going through something I guess. This may be the longest part, because I want to write this without offending anyone, so I may use some extra words as padding when necessary. Now let me start off by saying that I do not in any way dislike, discriminate against or otherwise "hate on" homosexuals at all. And I am of the mindset that homosexuality is ingrained. I believe that its something that you are born as, and not something that you become. I also believe that in today's society it is much cooler for women to be gay then it is for men to be gay, and that female homosexuality has become a trend that even truly straight women dabble in sometimes, and that it is fine to do that, but its even more of a reason why we are not/should not be categorized by our sexuality. Because, for example, I am merely Me...I have been with women, and I love the form and shape of a woman, but I am married to and truly in love with my husband, a man. And I do not consider myself to be bisexual, because on any day, I would take a man over a woman. And I believe that to a true bisexual it would be more like a decision between someone 5'8 or 5'9...they would need to know the person, male/female, wouldn't matter. Now you have been all up in my business for long enough, back to the Ber. So, after an entire life of straight-ness, with no attractions to women or anything, she decided that she is a lesbian. And not just any lesbian, but the butch, short hair, dominant, sex-crazed, completely opposite of her old self, lesbian. And I know that sometimes some women can change at times in their lives, and be truly happy, but I feel something in my soul that just doesn't feel right. But anyway. In the past year, I have seen Ber put her children behind her happiness. And I as a woman, mother, and someone's child, feel like that is never ok. She loves her children, I would never say that she didn't, but just that she has been making some very self-serving decisions. As I type, she is now ( I believe) still in Washington with her "chick", a married woman who is also selfishly thinking of only herself. Her happiness, her needs, and never what Amber needs, she gave her a vacation, which she wanted, but in that vacation forced her to leave her children at home with a man whom Ber herself believed would hurt her child, to the extent of getting a restraining order against him less than a year ago, just so she could have 2 weeks with her in her hometown in the home that she and her husband share. The original plan was to go for 6 months, and I begged Ber not to go. I told her that she'd be missing so much of her children's life, for some woman. I mean, I could never see myself leaving my child to go spend time with a married man, no matter what the situation was. But she is an adult, and while the rest of us were allowed to make stupid decisions in our youth, she decided to get married, and have children, and now she wants to regain that, there is nothing I can say or do to her to sway her. I love her, but for this portion of her life, I will have to love her from afar.
I found out that a friend of mine had a baby. Congrats to him and his "girlfriend." Baby Tirianna is a lucky and beautiful baby girl.
I also found out that My girl Tyra is having an itty-bitty. No word yet on what the baby is, but I wish her the best of luck. Enjoy it grl...
I have once again been told that I have lost a friend...I am so tired of begging for friends. I live a lonely life, and I assume I will have to remain this way until the day I die. It's hard for me to trust people, but once they get that trust even once, I will trust them forever, so I try really hard to hold on to friends...But I need to stop. Doing that drains me so much more than it will even help me.
Labels: Ber, confessions, Family, friends, Husband, Mommy-hood, P
